No-Fun Senate Republicans Won't Impeach Biden, Probably Don't Even Want To See Hunter's Dick

How is this good government?

 Politico has very upsetting news for House Republicans, but because Politico likes to joke around and have fun, Politico is delivering the upsetting news in a silly way:

[F]or some GOP senators, questions about their [House] counterparts’ impeachment dreams elicit responses that put a new spin on M.C. Hammer’s 1990 hit: They can’t, and won’t, touch this.

Oh, we get it!

They could have just written that GOP senators don't seem very interested in House Republicans' impeachment flights of fancy, but instead they said "Can't touch this!"

Next time, to keep things fresh and interesting, may we also suggest "Talk to the hand!" and "NOT!" (The way it works is that you say a thing, and then afterward you say "NOT!")

Or another idea would be to say "Whatever!" and all the Politico staffers could make their hands into a "W" shape.

Anyway, point is, it turns out Republican senators are no fun at all and are expressing absolutely zero desire to follow House Republicans down a road of failed clownass Joe Biden impeachment investigations. They probably don't even want to see Hunter Biden's penis.

Have they not heard that the most important First Amendment US American freedom story of all time is that elderly white actor James Woods was not able to put Hunter Biden's penis on Twitter one time? Isn't that a good reason to impeach Hunter Biden's father?

You know, if he refuses to RESIGN FIRST:  

“How is the Twitter Files chicanery any different from Watergate in sum and substance? Nixon resigned when his henchmen tried to subvert free speech. Your turn, Mr. Biden.”

— James Woods (@James Woods) 1670034885 

But anyway, back to this impeachment thing.

Texas Republican Senator John Cornyn says he "[hasn't] really given any thought” to impeaching Joe Biden or maybe a top Cabinet official like Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas. (Possible future House Speaker Kevin McCarthy has been babbling about impeaching Mayorkas, and Politico notes the idea is being championed by Rep. Andy Biggs and a few other shit-flingers.) Have they done anything impeachable? "Not really, no," said Cornyn.

Mitt Romney is being a real buzzkill shitass about it:

“Someone has to commit a high crime or misdemeanor for that to be a valid inquiry. I haven’t seen any accusation of that nature whatsoever. There are a lot of things I disagree with … but that doesn’t rise to impeachment.”

Politico makes it sound like John Thune of South Dakota, the second-highest ranking Republican senator, is not-so-subtly telling House Republicans to grow up and try to govern like somebody who wears big-boy underpants, calling for House Republicans to try to focus on "specific areas" for "oversight." He even mentions trying to find ways to work with Democrats.

Susan Collins? Laughed at the question . Said she was "not going to get into the machinations of the House." Hate her, but that is some delicious shade. She has no idea what those freaks do over there on the other side of the building. Gross . Stop asking her.

“That’s not something I’ve heard discussed over here,” Collins said about impeaching Biden or Mayorkas.

Even Chuck Grassley is like EW, DAVID! 

And Iowa Sen. Chuck Grassley, the top Republican on the Judiciary Committee, brushed off questions about if he supports a Biden or Mayorkas impeachment: “I can’t do anything about what the House does.”

Please do not speak to Chuck Grassley about the House of Representatives .

Obviously if the House were to impeach Biden it would require 67 votes for conviction in the Senate. Depending on the Georgia results tonight, Republicans will have either 49 or 50 members total . It doesn't sound like they're coming along on this ride, besides maybe a few of the most flamboyant dipshits like Ted Cruz, Lindsey Graham, and Josh Hawley. Even then, it's mostly directed at Mayorkas, for the immigration crimes they imagine he's committed. Hawley literally shut down impeachment talk about Biden when Politico asked.

At this rate, we'll never get to the bottom of Hunter Biden's penis.

Good closing sentence, Wonkette.

[ Politico ]

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