Senatorial Offspring Crime Wave Sweeps Nation

Pat DeWine, son of outgoing Senator Mike DeWine (R-OH), beat up an old man in Cincinnati this week. This is how it went down according to this insanely laid-out conservative site (via this more reasonably-designed blog ):

Did D-D-Defeated DeWine's st-stuttering son really try to get in a fight with an innocent man minding his own business at dinner at the posh Bistro Jean Ro when he overheard him comment on the Defeated DeWhine? Did Commissioner hothead really try to put this person in a headlock after whipping his glasses off his face?

Naturally, DeWine has a slightly different explanation.

DeWine admitted he lost his temper, initially saying there was no physical confrontation, but he later acknowledged Bolling's glasses were knocked off by DeWine's extended hand as Bolling was getting out of his chair.

Of course. Makes perfect sense. DeWine's hand happened to be outstretched and the good Dr. Chris Bolling merelyran into it. Could happen to anyone.

Lest you think this is an isolated incident, we remind you of the drunken antics of Bill Nelson's kid, Charles. Who got loaded at a Victory Party and slugged some cops. Concerned yet? Remember: as Florida and Ohio go, so goes the Nation.

So next time you're in a restaraunt, minding your own business, mercilessly trashing one of your Senators, remember: that angry young woman at the next tablecould be Julia Corker. And if you're in Rhode Island, you have a pretty decent chance of getting run down by a benzedrine-addled Patrick Kennedy atany moment.

 DeWine, Heckler Scuffle [Enquirer]

 Mike DeWine's Son Attacks Sherrod Brown Voter [Cincinnati Black Blog]