Insert your SEX JOKES William Jefferson Clinton, aka Bill, aka Big Dawg, aka The Clenis, aka the future first man-lady of America, was born on a day that was exactly 69 years ago from this day, Aug. 19, and according to a little-known codicil in the corporate charter of Yr Wonkette -- which we do not have, what are we, a frickin' Fortune 500 company? STFU and just go with it -- we are contractually, legally, and biblically obligated to makes some sexy sex jokes, about sex, for your sextainment.
If you don't know, better check the instructions unless you're like me and think, "I'm a man and instructions are for pussies!" so you toss 'em :-(...On the other hand, you can find them online and by them I mean porn.
If he ever actually connected with someone on AM (if you know what I mean, and I think you do), I pray they have the moral decency to go public and give us all the sordid details.
I'm not Maureen Dowd, but I hate him because of how he murdered Ricky Ray Rector for votes and was a lousy president. His serial adultery and super-gross behavior (POTUS vs intern is such a power imbalance, it is borderline rapey) is pretty minor compared to killing tens of thousands of Sudanese. But yes, 69, sex, etc....what fun.
I'm gonna consider those five minutes I wasted "foreplay".
(Just like real life!)
The difference of course being that Nixon, Reagan, Bush I AND Bush II committed actual fucking crimes.
Frankly, Jerry "can't chew gum and fart at the same time" Ford committed the biggest one of all by giving a blanket pardon to the criminal Nixon.
The way his season's going, I wouldn't give up on him hitting a horny hat trick just yet.
If you don't know, better check the instructions unless you're like me and think, "I'm a man and instructions are for pussies!" so you toss 'em :-(...On the other hand, you can find them online and by them I mean porn.
Wait. Isn't someone else supposed to blow out his candle for this to work?
How does a married man get a handjob?Ask for a blowjob.
If he ever actually connected with someone on AM (if you know what I mean, and I think you do), I pray they have the moral decency to go public and give us all the sordid details.
Retired Republican presidents aren't worth shit. All they do is play golf.
I never touched her. I swear.
That's what she said.
69 is like the original emoticon (that's like an old-school emoji to our younger not-commenters)
or oldz....
pegging ain't nice...
Fall mountain.....just don't fall on me....
Try using finer grit sandpaper first next time.
I'm not Maureen Dowd, but I hate him because of how he murdered Ricky Ray Rector for votes and was a lousy president. His serial adultery and super-gross behavior (POTUS vs intern is such a power imbalance, it is borderline rapey) is pretty minor compared to killing tens of thousands of Sudanese. But yes, 69, sex, etc....what fun.