Shameless Florida Idiots Claiming Insurers All Leaving State Not Because Of Hurricanes But Because Of 'Woke'

Come the fuck on already.

Farmers Insurance announced Tuesday it will be pulling out of the market in Florida, and will no longer offer new policies or renewals for any of its insurance policies — not just homeowner and rental coverage, but also auto insurance and "umbrella" policies, too, which make sure that if you're caught in the rain but forgot an umbrella, the company will bring you one.

The company said in a statement that leaving Florida was simply a business decision that was necessary because Florida is too risky, with all the hurricanes and the flooding. The move will leave about 100,000 Florida Men and Women without coverage as their policies lapse, without a lot of hope that other big insurance companies will expand coverage. Should be a great year for Fast Eddie's House O' Real Insurance, Trust Us.

CNN adds that earlier in the week, Farmers said it would cap sales of new homeowners policies in California due to high costs and wildfire risks, following similar moves by Allstate and State Farm in the Golden But Very Smoky State.

Previously!

 Like A Good Neighbor, State Farm Worries Your House In California Will Burn To Cinders 

 Ron DeSantis Too Busy Spending $ On 'Sea Level Rise' To Think About Commie 'Climate Change' 

 Woke Joe Biden's Woke Veto Saves Woke Capitalists! Let The Woke Investment Rumpus Begin! 

Naturally enough, Florida's rightwing Chief Financial Officer, Jimmy Patronis, was happy to find a culture wars angle on the situation, because the problem can't possibly be that Florida is, in terms of climate, a tire fire in a flash flood headed for a pit of hungry velociraptors (metaphorically, for now ). In a statement released on Twitter, Patronis accused Farmers of abandoning Florida residents because like so many capitalists, the company was just too darn woke .

Patronis griped that the problem isn't that Florida is facing a climate disaster — not that he even used the c-word — but that Farmers is just part of the globalist woke mob:

"The more we learn about Farmers Insurance the more it’s clear its leadership doesn’t know what they’re doing. While they’re bad at helping people, they’re good at virtue signaling. Instead of focusing on their policyholders and running a functioning business, the insurer became the, 'First U.S.-based Insurer to Become Signatory of the United Nations Principles for Sustainable Insurance.'"

Remember, "sustainable" is bad, and the UN, well, we don't have to explain why it's evil, do we?

The statement went on to quote Farmers then-CEO Jeff Dailey, who said the company was committed to "incorporating Environmental, Social and Governance (ESG) considerations into our business" — another scare term that's anathema to wingnuts because investing with the climate or diversity in mind is actually a kind of communism and must be banned.

Asserting that Farmers was "playing politics" instead of paying attention to business concerns, Patronis brought out the big culture wars guns (rhetorical AR-15s) and did his level best to win a guest spot on Newsmax, declaring "I sincerely believe that with today's actions, Farmers Insurance is well on its way to becoming the Bud Light of insurance."

Honestly, the wingnuttosphere is kind of impressive: These bozos can appeal to transphobic hatred even when there are no trans people anywhere in the conversation. We assume Patronis followed that up by photoshopping venerable character actor JK Simmons — the affable old fart in the Farmers ads — into a picture of Pajama Boy and accusing Farmers of being soy-based insurance.

Gov. Ron DeSantis, who appears to be too busy running to lose the GOP presidential nomination to have commented on the Farmers departure yet, knows damn well that 1) climate change is real and dangerous for his state, and 2) if he acknowledges that fact, he'll be despised by the wingnuts who put him in office. As we never tire of pointing out, DeSantis got the state Lege in 2021 to pass funding aimed at beefing up infrastructure in low-lying areas of the state against sea level rise and flooding, even as he absolutely refused to answer smartass reporters who asked him why sea levels are rising, huh, why sir, why? 

UPDATE: Looks like we just missed it: Florida Politics reports that DeSantis went on the rightwing "Howie Carr" radio show yesterday and explained that he's pretty sure the major insurers will all be back, probably, just begging to underwrite Florida homes — once hurricane season is over, at least. Hat tip to Alert Wonkette Operative "Callyson" in the comments, which we do not allow.

“I think what’s going to happen is because we did those reforms, it now is more economical for companies to come in. I think they’re going to wait through this hurricane season and then I think they’re going to be willing to deploy more capital to Florida,” DeSantis said Wednesday during an appearance on the Howie Carr Show .

“So, knock on wood, we won’t have a big storm this summer. Then I think you’re going to start to see companies see an advantage,” DeSantis added.

The man's solution to the problem is literally "Lord willin' and the crick don't rise."

But the insurance industry knows very well why Florida is in a state of great enshittenment: It's the climate, stupid. The Miami Herald points out that Farmers is only the latest of several insurers to get the hell out of the state in recent years, as the climate crisis has gently announced its arrival with record-setting winds, storm surge, and flooding. Seven insurance companies have failed altogether, 15 have stopped writing new policies, and with Farmers' departure, four big insurers have left the state because it's uninsurable. Another 18 insurance companies are in shaky enough condition to be on a state watch list, which we assume means the state will watch sadly as they keel over.

And for those lucky duckies who still have coverage, the paper adds, they get to pay the highest premiums in the USA, at about three times the national average. Why, it's as if actuaries have better insight into the risks of climate change than politicians, huh?

Long a destination for spring break debauchery, Florida last year became the location for Climate Disasters Gone Wild, with Hurricane Ian causing $114 billion in damage, the most expensive hurricane in Florida's very wet, windy history, and (adjusted for inflation) the third most expensive ever in the US, following Katrina in 2005 and Harvey in 2017.

Wokeness aside, out in the real world, the customers left hanging by Farmers will have to try to find coverage with the remaining insurers still doing business in Florida, or they may end up going with the state-run last resort insurer, Citizens Insurance, which has taken on more and more customers — 1.4 million currently — as commercial insurance dries up. As we've noted previously, reinsurance companies, which backstop commercial insurers, are leaving the markets that are riskiest due to climate change, often leaving such state-run insurance funds as the last option. But the state funds are already in shaky condition thanks to previous disasters like Hurricane Ian, and some insurance-biz experts say they're little more than a "comforting fiction."

So, umm, good luck, Florida!

Update for the hell of it: Speaking of Florida and fiction, albeit not so comforting, Paolo Bacigalupi's2019 short story "A Full Life," which I've recommended several times previously, touches on a future Florida where, after a hurricane, the insurers and the landlords all just walk away.

[ Miami Herald / CNN / Updates:  MIT Technology Review / Florida Politics / Photo:  Florida Fish and Wildlife. Creative Commons License 2.0 ]

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