312 Comments
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Craig Nixon's avatar

You're gonna love my nuts.

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Hobbes's avatar

Fuck You Newt Gingrich. Fuck you to hell forever. At least in the early 90s we could still pretend that conservativism had something resembling valid arguments.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

WOKE BUSTERS guy better call STROKE BUSTERS

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VwllssWndr's avatar

How can John Carter represent Texas if he lives on Mars?

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DJ Teetop's avatar

Look at those cavemen go

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Lumpy Tapioca's avatar

no no no no no no no

no no no no no

no

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Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

If someone squirts me with diet soda and pelts me with Mentos I am certainly not going to think they are being compassionate, empathetic or understanding.

I am going to think they are assholes. I am going to think they suck donkey dick.

If someone else judges me for thinking those thoughts are they the ones guilty of thoughtism? If so then sign me up to cancel them too!

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Ekim's avatar

I am not sure the shamwow guy has what it takes to win a republican primary.

He didn't get any criminal charges for his time with a prostitute.

A right wing frowns on a record that unblemished.

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DJ Teetop's avatar

Yeah, the persecution is needed

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Antifa Commander's avatar

So every kindergarten class will be videoed and streamed? Gee, that won’t attract pervs at all. Not on the internet!

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abbienormal's avatar

This has been floated before and has been roundly rejected due to privacy concerns.

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wavicles's avatar

That was before, this is now... no mo' guardrails!

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Birb-General of the US's avatar

I tried to watch but after the giant scissors scene I had to turn it off and couldn't continue.

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Baconzgood's avatar

Soooooo....er.....yeah....

Im going to buy a bottle of 151 (and Baconz hates rum) and sleep for the next 3 years.

This is the current version of the GOPs Algonquin Round Table?

Maybe I should go buy 3 bottles.

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Valechec's avatar

I don't know what they have against blue hair, other than I think purple is better.

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Baconzgood's avatar

True story.

In 1993 Baconz came home with hair dyed turquoise (a neon shade of blue), because he was a punk rocker (actually more of a Math Rocker, but its moot to this anicode).

BaconzMa was FURIOUS!!!!!

She will still never mention it!

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abbienormal's avatar

You are my son 15 years earlier. I was furious too. He came home with dye running down his back and I made him rinse off with a hose in the front yard.

His color choice was purple but it came out pink. I was only pissed because he was headed to Stanford for a prestigious neuroscience summer research internship.

Of course, it was California so no one thought it was weird. :)

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Anarchy Pony's avatar

It's part of how they hate freedom.

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Antifa Commander's avatar

Is that a nipple on the barrel of the Trump tank?

And why is that lady wearing a suit in the pool anyway?

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zuludaddy (seem 'on key?')'s avatar

okay it here, yrrrrr

top of the weekend

smoking lamp

is lit!!

here come yr Hooper nao hooraaaaaay!

[and who knows what evil lurks in the heart of tonight's news dump? who???]

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Tim Weston's avatar

C'mon, you guys just made all this up right ?

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Oy!'s avatar
2hEdited

I blame violent video games for making Republican men (and some women) act like Tom Cottons (i.e. complete asshole sociopaths). All that "war fighting" and "warrior ethos" bullshit indicates *way* too much time playing "Call of Duty" and other violent games like that.

The CDC should start a research project on . . . oh wait. 'Bobby and the Giant Brainworm' is in charge of that. Never mind.

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Satanisreal's avatar

Um, wow.

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