Shaquille O'Neal Says A Lie In This Chris Christie Campaign Ad, Fouls Out

Last night we were watching the baseball men from Boston do better baseball than some other baseball men to become Champions of the World of the Continental United States and Canada -- congratulations, you brave, coarse millionaires! The best part was when they hit the ball and it went far.

But the second best part was when Shaquille O'Neal, a man who is known for his proficiency in an entirely different sportsball game (and also for being a wizard ), came on our teevees to tell us that we should vote for Chris Christie, even though we live in New York and can't. "I don't endorse many politicians," says Shaq, "but Chris Christie is different." We agree, but probably for different reasons, and come on, why wasn't it "but when I do, I endorse Chris Christie"? Trademark tyranny, probably.

Then Shaq says a lie about Chris Christie's record on education!

"Governor Christie's provided more funding for schools," says Shaq. This is only true if you think "Cutting education funding from $9 billion per year in 2009 to a low of $8.1 billion, then proposing to spend $8.7 billion in 2014" is the same thing as "provid[ing] more funding for schools." We don't think that, because it is not. Big Aristotle, indeed! 

Yes, we are aware that money alone doesn't make a school good, but Shaq could probably have done a nice commercial for fellow large person Chris Christie (who is different) without saying a lie. And yes, we are calling it a lie even though you could say "But education funding was $8.1 billion, then Christie made it $8.7" if you were a weasel.

So there you have it -- from hack-a-Shaqto Shaq the Hack in 30 seconds flat. Sad times. Let us cheer you up with these lyrics from "Where Ya At?", which is a song you can find on Shaq Diesel , one of (!) Shaq's rap albums:

Yo Shaq where ya at?

I'm over here

Yo Shaq where ya at?

Yo yo I'm over here

Yo Shaq where ya at?

Phife I'm over here

Yo Shaq where ya at?

Phife I'm over here

Yo Shaq where ya at?

Yo yo I'm over here

Yo Shaq where ya at?

Phife Dawg I'm over here

Yo Shaq where ya at?

I'm over here

Get on the microphone and just rip the track

Phife Dawg, indeed.

[ YouTube / YouTube / usgovernmentspending.com / YouTube / Urban Dictionary / LyricsFreak ]