She Don't Lie She Don't Lie She Don't Lie. Tabs, Fri., Jan. 9, 2026
Morning news roundup!
Good morning, stay strong, here’s your tabs!
News says with no details that ICE just shot two people in Portland, condition unknown. I’m going to fucking bed before anything else happens, it is after all 6:48 p.m. Eastern. (KATU) OK, surprise, I didn’t go to bed yet, all we know so far at 7:53 p.m. is they got shot in a hospital parking lot. NOW I’m going to fucking bed. (KGW)
Everything’s in flux. The DOJ has determined Minnesota mayn’t be involved in any investigation, and for a minute it sounded like Tim Walz would accede. Now who knows. But maybe it doesn’t sound like that anymore, and here’s an idea!
This was Renee Good’s prize-winning poem. It’s kind of dark! (Poets) Here’s more about her as a person. (CNN)
Nope. (Mother Jones)
Shut. It. Down. (The Fucking News)
This is paywalled, but if you’re already subscribed to the Bulwark, this comparing Renee Good’s murder to Ashli Babbitt’s actual domestic terrorism is … well it’s completely true and completely enervating. (The Bulwark)
The National Catholic Reporter would like Pope Bob from Chicago to excommunicate JD Vance. (NCR)
Federal officers actually killed three other people before they killed Good. (The Marshall Project)
Joyce Vance runs down a partial history of ICE violence. (Joyce Vance)
Heather Cox Richardson starts with Minnesota ICE and then moves on to … wait, Trump is going to hold the Venezuela oil money in offshore accounts? He … really? Oh. (HCR)
Suspending our disbelief on why we attacked Venezuela. (Good Politics Bad Politics)
Marco Rubio really does sniff quite extravagantly, which is not entirely the point of this essay. (Bad Faith Times)
Mouth. So. Dry. I mean goddamn.
From your comrade Beelzabubba (sp?), and in reference to the very curious online gambling market wins on Maduro’s kidnapping: “Donald Trump Jr. now serves as an adviser to both Polymarket and Kalshi. The Trump family’s media company is working on a prediction market too: Truth Predict.” What could go right! (The Atlantic)
Should we give Greenlanders $10,000 to $100,000 a piece to join the US while we’re cutting off all social spending in America? Related, how boned would they be the first time they had to use an ambulance, post-unification? (Reuters)
Massie and Khanna want a Special Master to go through and release the Epstein Files please, since DOJ certainly isn’t. (Letter)
Haven’t watched this, and it’s weird and hilarious that Politico didn’t include the video in their writeup of it, which I also didn’t read once I saw there was no video, so here you go. Let me know how it was!
Mass Gov. Maura Healy is backfilling Trump’s ACA cuts in her state; premiums will still rise but by like 16 or 24 percent (which is what our staff’s insurance went up in the private market) and not 500 percent. More of this please blue states! Great job! (ACA Signups)
The House — the US House — voted to extend Obamacare subsidies, with 17 Republicans crossing the aisle. Senate Majority Leader John Thune says he ain’t gonna, because abortion still exists? I guess we will see! (ABC News)
And it’s from Rep. Lauren Underwood??? BLESS BLESS BLESS!
Oh lord almighty, Alexandra Petri is becoming more of the government, every day, and it is going great. Don’t miss this one please. Do your own research! Don’t die from milk! (The Atlantic)
My favorite part of this lunatic Heritage Foundation report on how to increase white women babbies is the proposal to not let people sell starter homes until they’ve gotten (and rejected?) an offer from a married couple with kids. What a bunch of freaks! (Gift link Washington Post)
I’m sorry. Don’t hate me.
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The past couple of days has done me in. I've still been here, but I've been pretty quiet as every bit of news is bringing me to tears. It didn't help that Wednesday was also the day of my neighbour's funeral.
I think, in light of recent events, we're all going to need something to cheer us up. I that light, i think I've made the right choice for next month's cake. I'm going to bake you the Bake Off cake. Those of you who know the show know it well, it's the iconic chocolate cake with the missing raspberry.
And this time I will not be cautioning you not to eat it all in one sitting.