Shirley Sherrod Doesn't Want Terrible Job Fixing Racism Everywhere

Tom "The Sack" Vilsack has finally finished going through the Agriculture Department's HR files, looking for some kind of job he could give to Breitbart victim Shirley Sherrod, to make everyone stop saying such mean things about him continuously. Obviously he couldn't simply give her the old job back, as this is what's known as a "lateral move" and it would look bad on her résumé, and obviously Vilsack cares for nothing more than the health of Sherrod's career. What sort of job could he give her that would really be a step up ... think, Sack-Man, think ... wait! What if she were promoted to a gig where she fought the very racism that caused all this trouble in the first place? I'll bet she'd love that!

Or, maybe not? 

Sherrod, who spoke during several interviews Thursday morning, revealed that she was offered an outreach position that would deal with discrimination matters. But she said she's not so keen on being the go-to person for those issues. "I would not want to be that individual that the department and everyone is looking to to solve the issue of racism at USDA. It takes a lot more to get that job done," she said.

WHAT? Shirley, don't you know this never would have happened if you hadn't been an out-of-context racist? Now the burden is on you to solve racism for everyone forever. With great unasked-for media circuses come great responsibility!

"I haven't seen the offer. ... Before I say no totally, I would like to look at that."

Ha ha, that's right, Shirley, you hold out for more money. A lot more money. Minimum four weeks of vacation, too, and two days a week telecommuting. You can fight racism from home! Your Wonkette does it all the time!

Sherrod can of course be choosy about her next career move, as she also has an offer to tour with her buddy Willie Nelson. [ Fox / HuffPo ]