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Sizzling Fictional Laura Bush Potboiler Coming Soon!
Once upon a time, Curtis Sittenfeld wrote a funny thing for Salon about her terrible case of Nell Freudenberger envy. Then she wrote two best-selling novels and now she has another novel coming out in September: a piece of RACY SPECULATIVE FICTION that is totally obviously about Laura Bush! If Wonkette had a Book Club for Fancy Ladies and Gentlemen, this might be an inaugural selection. Lesbians, abortions, and sexy sex quotations viaRadarafter the jump.
"Back in bed, he knelt on the mattress—I was lying flat, and he was above me—and perhaps it sounds crude to say that this is the moment I knew I could love him, when I saw his penis. With men in my past, the penis had seemed to me an odd creature, both comic and forlorn. But I felt a great devotion to Charlie when I first got a look at his, the ruddy-hued, upward-pointing shaft, its swollen veins and cap-like tip." [This is the part where the first lady character has sex with the president guy.]
"He pulled off my pants and underwear at the same time—I was wearing blue jeans, and he had to unbutton and unzip them first—and then I was naked except for my socks, which were white with lace trim. He tugged me upward and flipped me over, and when he said, 'No, you have to be on your knees,' it was the first time either of us had spoken in several minutes." [This is the gal having sex with the brother of a boy she ran over, in a car. Laura Bush ran over a boy with a car once.]
"My grandmother was not permitted in the operating room—when Dr. Wycomb appeared in the white coat. She squeezed my hand, and the warmth of her grip made me realize how cold I was. I wore a blue hospital gown, and when I lay on the operating table, the nurse had me set my feet in metal stirrups. 'The doctor wants to talk to you before we put you under,' the nurse said, and ten or twelve minutes had passed." [That's the abortion part, dummies!]
"I stepped instead into the living room, and just before I crossed the threshold, I heard my grandmother's laughter, and just after I heard her laughter, I saw her sitting on Dr. Wycomb's lap, kissing Dr. Wycomb on the lips." [This is where she discovers her grandma is a lesbian with the abortionist Dr. Wycomb.]
In conclusion, Curtis Sittenfeld is pretty rad, and so is Laura Bush.
American Wife: Laura Bush Explored [Radar Online]