Skoalrebel Now With 100% Fewer N-, F-Words

Well here's a happy little inspirational story to make your Monday a little sun-shinier: the artist formerly known as Skoalrebel has returned to the YouTube after going off the grid for several months, after all you hateful Internet banshees mocked him off the webcam. Apparently he used this time away to engage in deep spiritual reflection, because he's not racist no more !

He's also found God and stopped swearing, and he's got some shiny new sunglasses to protect his peepers from the blinding brightness of the Lord's holy light because you have to ease into these things, and he's chewing Timber Wolf, which was Jesus' preferred brand of chew. See, staying off the Internet can be good for some people!

Speaking of branding, don't call him Skoalrebel no more because he's now "mudjugsforlife21," to celebrate the coming of a new day in America. You Wonkette subscribers are probably clueless about what "mudjugs" are, because of elitism, but they are elegant "portable spittoons." Sargeant Spitter, one of mudrebel69's brothers in Christlike expectoration, and who also wears shiny sunglasses, explains how these sacred American-made vessels are manufactured in this here instructional terror film: