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TheHeroOfCanton's avatar

Update from the Batcave, aka the Little House on the Slough:

Mrs. Hero and I are still coughing up a storm, exhausted, aching, and altogether feel like, as she said "something the cat barfed up and the dog wouldn't look at". When chicken soup is the only thing that sounds good to eat...we had to inform the kids and grands that, due to circumstances beyond our control, we cannot adult at this particular time.

So naturally, Middle Lad texts me for help for his math. Fortunately, I algebra like most of us breathe (can we use 'algebra' as a verb? Screw it, I am.), so it only took one (long) return text to solve his issues.

This illness feels like when your sportsball team is on a long losing streak...it feels like your team will never win again, even though you know it. Same here--I know I'ma be healthy again someday, but it sure feels sometimes Like I'm gonna die (many years from now) in this condition.

So Hillz 'n' Billz will be testifying on camera about Epstein. Whar President Moron? Oh, riiiiiight...

And even though prolly it won't happen, I so wanna see the entire state of Minnesota get the Nobel Peace Prize, if only to make President Moron's head go full Scanners.

Btw, Wonkette needs a Dark Mode. My eyes are bleary enough as it is without being snowblind from all the white space. Just saying.

Richard S's avatar

I don't have much to share tonight, so here's Garrett Graff at ๐˜”๐˜ฐ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜‘๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด with a REALLY deep dive into the problems at DHS and ICE:

๐—ช๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐——๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐˜๐˜€ ๐—ก๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ž๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ง๐—ฟ๐˜‚๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฅ๐—ฒ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—บ ๐—œ๐—–๐—˜

https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2026/02/democrats-dhs-ice-reform-graff-cbp/

"On Friday, I testified in front of Governor J.B. Pritzkerโ€™s โ€œIllinois Accountability Commission,โ€ the state government body he set up after the Trump administrationโ€™s โ€œOperation Midway Blitzโ€ attack on Chicago last summer and the precursor of the even larger federal occupation of Minneapolis that weโ€™re experiencing now. The bodyโ€™s goal is to both document what happened to Chicago, with an eye on future prosecutions, understand the role of various Trump officials in this federal occupation, and offer recommendations about how to fix immigration enforcement going forward.

"I was called as the commissionโ€™s expert witness on the history of problems, corruption, and training within CBP and ICEโ€”a story Iโ€™ve covered for more than a dozen years, as regular readers of this newsletter know. To prepare, I spent the last week re-reading and re-familiarizing myself with DHS scandals and waves of corruption and mismanagementโ€”and found myself horrified anew.

(The article is basically a transcript of his testimony)

Rhizolith Reborn's avatar

Dissolve it, fire everyone, start from scratch

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

Let's start with sending the Border Patrol back to patrolling the border, mmmmkay?

Holly's avatar

Wanna see complete nirvana? What could be better than warm towels fresh outta the dryer.

https://substack.com/profile/439485293-holly/note/c-210580967

M-X's avatar

Warm radiator, next to blankie I sleep on, next to Mama (says Muffin boy) :-)

But very close!!

*chat soon, darling Holls baby*

ziggywiggy's avatar

Harry agrees!

Jeff, still got my guitar's avatar

I love it when the Bin Laden server surfaces from the deep.

Prostate of Dorian Gray's avatar

๐ŸŽตUp from the depths

30 stories high ๐ŸŽถ

Breathing fire!

His head in the sky!๐ŸŽต

chascates's avatar

And maybe a poll tax and 'guess the beans in the jar'!

@realDonaldTrump:

"Americaโ€™s Elections are Rigged, Stolen, and a Laughingstock all over the World. We are either going to fix them, or we wonโ€™t have a Country any longer. I am asking all Republicans to fight for the following:

SAVE AMERICA ACT!

1. ALL VOTERS MUST SHOW VOTER ID (IDENTIFICATION!).

2. ALL VOTERS MUST SHOW PROOF OF UNITED STATES CITIZENSHIP TO REGISTER FOR VOTING.

3. NO MAIL-IN BALLOTS (EXCEPT FOR ILLNESS, DISABILITY, MILITARY, OR TRAVEL!)."

https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116020521328279296

Phried ฮฉ's avatar

All polling places will be located on at least the tenth floor of buildings without elevators or escalators.

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

Police stations, jails, military bases, etc.

To be safe

Pope Scipio Newburyporticus's avatar

Legislation faltering, big boy?

Stulexington's avatar

And we'll have troops at every polling station to arrest everyone we don't like to keep them from voting.

chascates's avatar

He may struggle to find enough all white troops.

Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

Well, I'm white, and I'll be there watching his Very Special Army, and interfering with any of their interference. Pray for me...

Darrell Leland's avatar

One bad thing about all this... whatever it is, is that the trump years wonโ€™t let me imagine some dark plotting by brilliant psychopaths in a smoke filled room. No Dr. Strangeloves or mysterious supervillains. No cabals, no master plans to conquer the world.

Instead, we see the Oval Office, trump at his desk snoozing and crapping his pants while Stephen Miller plots how to make this thing work for aging bald white bros. Meanwhile Kristi Noem tries on different uniforms and more lip filler, while a few republican senators sweat in the background and whisper nervously about the midterms. Tulsi Gabbard texts her KGB handler for further instructions. JD Vance screams at the rest to keep this whole fucking thing quiet *or else* and is ignored. Pete Hegseth downs his fourth fifth as he staggers around the room blithering โ€œthihs ish a job for a REAL warfarter!!!" A piece of gold painted crap falls from the celling and hits him in the head. He collapses to the floor and butt dials the whole thing to The Nation.

Goin Green's avatar

And the nation says they trust Trump on the economy 46/42 over a generic Democrat in 2028.

And nobody in any of the news feeds mentions that Trump is not eligible to run again in 2028*.

*For now

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

And out in the open, too! What the fuck!

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

Long live the great kind Don Fernando!

https://youtu.be/Nyd1EJW8m0E?si=l3MPDUcO2YVyAe18

Viva el gran Re Don Fernando

con la Reyna Donn' Isabella!

Viva Spagna et la Castella.

Pien de gloria triumphando!

tehbaddr's avatar

Going to Netflix instead of MSnow tonight, need a break. Found this really promising vehicle. Bill Murray and Adam Driver in a zombie movie, The Dead Don't Die.

UVB-76's avatar

Found it and got it queued, great idea!

ziggywiggy's avatar

If you like zombie movies it is a fun and different take on the whole genre.

tehbaddr's avatar

I really like zombie movie, even bad ones. There's this specialty sub genre that I really like. Ice Nazi Zombies! There's actually quite a few of them out there.

Mysterysurf's avatar

Singer-songwriter and producer Nick Laird-Clowes of The Dream Academy is 69 years old today. Here's "The Edge Of Forever" which apparently was used in the soundtrack to Ferris Bueller's Day Off:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuvWq4NnTVo

And here's their hit from 1985, the lovely "Life In A Northern Town":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWMKAYRU9qE

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

Boy, that was a big piece of shell still on the egg that I didn't notice until I put it in my mouth and chewed. And I mean big - did I even peel that son of a bitch at all?

BillEGoatSmile's avatar

LOLOLOL!

Pay attention, fine bun bun!

Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

Trump was part of the Epstein pipeline. There's plenty enough to prove it. There. I've said it...

Bitter Scribe's avatar

Just finished dinner. Turkey meatballs in red sauce, air-fried green beans, salad.

A simple meal, but a simple prep and cleanup too.

AJ Milne's avatar

I ordered myself and my son some phแปŸ.

(Probably the hardest part of that, including cleanup, was just nowโ€”typing phแปŸ.)

UVB-76's avatar

I splurged and bought some infused weed, %37, and just tried it out a half an hour ago. Just now coming to....

Oy!'s avatar

What is it infused with?

UVB-76's avatar

Hashish oil. The buds sparkle.

Prostate of Dorian Gray's avatar

Don't let crows see it. They love shiny things.

EyeQueue's avatar

That's the good shit. XD

UVB-76's avatar

Be putting my head through a process.

calliecallie, aka pollyanna's avatar

Here's a thing that I found interesting, comparing the speed and efficacy of the authoritarian changes the Trump regime has undertaken to those taken by other authoritarian regimes. The hopeful news is, as always, that he and his people are incompetent.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLUCOSGtuR8

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

and we have not yet gotten to the self-sabotaging and other-sabotaging phase or the You're Fired stage - they are coming

Marty Smit's avatar

Theyโ€™ve all been incompetent: see Mussolini.

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

And, actually, Hitler after the easy part of the war had passed.

UncleTravelingMatt's avatar

Incompetent and easily sidetracked by the pettiest of bullshit.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

Or even not so petty, like the Epstein files.

Garbageman's avatar

I swear I'm not making this up ๐Ÿ˜ตโ€๐Ÿ’ซ . . .

The New York Times @nytimes

From @TheAthletic: Reports have surfaced before the Winter Olympics that allege ski jumpers are injecting their penises with hyaluronic acid to fly farther. The World Anti-Doping Agency has vowed to investigate.

From nytimes.com

3:55 PM ยท Feb 5, 2026

https://xcancel.com/nytimes/status/2019515200613827039

Ambiance Chaser's avatar

Wouldn't it just be easier to leave their penises at home, like Congressmen ? . . .

UncleTravelingMatt's avatar

"injecting their penises with hyaluronic acid to fly farther"

I'm not sure if I've ever seen a combination of words that made less sense to me.

Richard S's avatar

Actual headline from way back: "Bush Needles Waffle House"..........

Alternative Dog's avatar

That was brought up on Wait Waitโ€ฆDon't Tell Me last weekend:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUBYpAkkTzl/

Assigned Cute at Birth's avatar

Acid and penis don't belong in the same sentence.

Parakeetist's avatar

Unless you're in a really terrible band.

President Rufus T. Superfly's avatar

I saw Acid Penis open for Soundgarden in 1991.

Hops: grrrr mad's avatar

I played bass in Acid Penis from 1994 to 1999. Scarred me for life.

UVB-76's avatar

You did no such thing :)