South Dakota Democrat Demands Whole Tooth On Kristi Noem's Texas Dental Shenanigans

Will drill to roots of possible corruption, fill in all details. Cavity search not needed.

Not Kristi Noem’s teeth, nor a representation thereof. Nail design and photo by ‘Raw.nailsss’ on the Instagrams, July 2023.

South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem raised a lot of eyebrows this week when she posted a social media video paean to the mad dental skillz of a Texas dentist. On Tuesday, Noem went on and on for nearly five minutes about her fantastic newly renovated choppers, what she got all gussied up at “Smile Texas,” a Houston-area dentistry office. She was super super happy with the job they did of adjusting her teeth after a long-ago bike accident that knocked out all her teeth, and we are wincing at the very thought.

In the video, Noem chirps,

"The team here was remarkable and finally gave me a smile that I can be proud of and confident in, and that really is a gift that I think is going to be incredibly special to have. […] I chose the team here at Smile Texas because they’re the best."

Watch, if you dare. We only made it about two minutes before noping out, but we can at least guarantee her teeth are nicer than the goofy artificial nails in our featured photo up top.

The weird video is being interpreted by some as a bid to get Donald Trump’s attention as he prepares to select a vice presidential candidate to sic his supporters on during his next insurrection. Others thought it was a desperate cry for attention and/or help, while South Dakota state Sen. Reynold Nesiba (D) initially thought it was just weird, but then wondered if Noem’s trip to and dental work might have violated state laws.

“I just thought it was a very strange video about how much she enjoyed having her teeth done at that particular place,” said Nesiba, a member of the audit committee.

Nesiba said he wonders whether Noem used a state airplane or public funds for the Texas trip and whether the governor paid for the dental procedure or if it was discounted because of her video.

Nesiba asked the Republicans who co-chair the state Lege’s Government Operations & Audit Committee to look into the strange affair although its next meeting isn’t until July. Could this lead to an inbitement?

When the AP called Smile Texas to ask to speak to one of the dentists, the person who answered invoked the HIPAA privacy law, which we’re pretty sure doesn’t prohibit general questions to providers.

When asked if Smile Texas plans to use Noem’s video for promotion, the woman said, “No, she posted that,” then hung up when asked again.

Texas is such a friendly place!

The AP notes that South Dakota law prohibits public officials and their family members from accepting gifts from lobbyists worth more than $100. It’s a misdemeanor that can result in up to a year in jail and/or a $2000 fine. The state AG’s office, however, “declined to answer questions about whether the gift ban applies to people who are not registered lobbyists.”

Also too, Noem was sued in federal court Wednesday by a consumer group, Travelers United, which alleged that she “advertised a product or service without disclosing that she has a financial relationship with that company,” which the group said violated consumer protection laws and also Federal Trade Commission rules on identifying social media posts as advertising.

But what if it isn’t an ad, but just the sincere outpourings of her heart, gladdened by the miracle of a smile that she can finally show to her family and the world?

In conclusion, we at Wonkette would like to challenge Gov. Noem to purchase that lovely set of artificial nails featured in our top photo and to wear them on TV so she can say she will fight these mean attacks tooth and nail.

We’d offer to buy them for her, but they cost $114, and we would hate to get her in any more trouble.

[AP / NBC News]

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