South Dakota GOP Halloween Tale Of Terror: Dirty Hippie Running For Congress Went To Cambridge, Has Master's Degree

Who do you want representing you, South Dakota? A disgusting hippie who loves "cap and trade" and taught at the Biosphere and has a master's degree? Or this nice lady with the awesome hair who was named "young farmer of the year" by the "Waterstown JC" (?) and who didn't whore herself out to Big Education? We are fairly sure the answer is self-evident! For instance, take a look at the picture above. See all the nice things Kristi Noem was doing in 2001? Awesome. What was her filthy radical opponent doing at the time? GOING TO CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY like a common intellectual. Which leaves unanswered the very important questions: Does Matt Varilek wear glasses, and if so, when will South Dakota gift him with the "re-education" he so obviously needs?

Do not watch if you don't want to see terrifying footage of Matt Varilek drinking Jaeger and eating corndogs and other super-obviously-un-American type things.

Luckily, Tea Party favorite Congresswoman Noem has about twice as much cash on hand as this ... freak Varilek. And so the Republic may stand for yet another day.