Splodey Heads Are Sploding All Over Your Weekly Top Ten
Sarah Palin was out there in Colorado Friday yammering her mouth off at some wingnut consortium called the Western Conservative Summit, and we don't know what she talked about, probably Jesus and moose nugget recipes and Bristol's 3rd or 7th pregnancy, who can even count. Oh, and she talked about Donald Trump. And you know what she said? She said SPLODEY HEADS ARE SPLODING over Trump's candidacy.
See for yourself:
So we just wanted to tell you that. Now it's time for our weekly top ten list, where we count down the top ten stories of the week and look at new videos of Wonkette Baby and stuff and things. Like here is Wonkette Baby playing the common American game of Let's Mess With The Sprinkler:
SPRINKLERS IS FUN!
OK so next up, because you LOVE WONKETTE SO MANY and want to keep Wonkette Baby in sprinklers for all her childhood (and also Evan and Dok and Robyn might need new sprinklers), you should click this linkyto toss us $5, $10 or $25, to support the very hard work we do for you every day! Please help! By doing money to us!
While you are pulling out your wallet, here's the traditional picture of Wonkette Baby Donna Rose being a scary lion!
YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW.
Shall we now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé, ALLEGEDLY? Yes we shall!
1. That Texas gun enthusiast lady who killed her daughters, then got her gun literally pried from her cold dead hands. Fuckin' hell.
2. A hilarious, fun story about Ivanka Trump helping her daddy fleece all the idiots.
3. Is this Donald Trump's saddest Elizabeth Warren hissy fit yet? MAYBE!
4. This one Mississippi wingnut rep is SO sorry he told the mom of a sick kid to get off her lazy, taker ass.
5. Sarah Palin is sick and tired of all these lamestream gotcha questions from little children. But do those questions MAKE HER SPLODEY HEAD SPLODE?
6. Hey ladies, do you hate Donald Trump? Well BAD NEWS, because that loser creep MRA dude Roosh V doesn't want to fuck you anymore. AWWWW.
7. Donald Trump's trip to Scotland was everything he could have ever dreamed of and more!
8. The GOP's Benghazi press conference was basically just Trey Gowdy stepping on his own dick a bunch of times.
9. A bunch of Fox News idiots helped Eric Trump defend his dumb daddy's dumb Brexit comments.
10. Uh oh, Ben Shapiro forgot to pretend Texas's bad abortion law was about women's health. Oopsie!
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories. They are very good stories!
OK, Wonkers, you have one task left and this is it. You need to sign up for the Wonkette newsletter, RIGHT NOW! It is the best of all the newsletters, like even better than the one your garden club sends out with all the hot #news about #seeds.
While you are doing that (AND SCROLLING BACK UP TO GIVE US $5, $15, or $25 BUCKS IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY ) here's a video of Wonkette Baby playing the common childhood game of "I was playing with the giant Legos, but then I decided to eat them instead." It is a good game!