Statist Rand Paul To Use Tyrannical 'Courts' To Fight Fashion Mag Slander

Rand Paul is absolutely livid about  GQ' s big scoop about how Rand Paul used to be in a goofy secret society and smoke pot and one time they allegedly kidnapped this gal. This is because he has an exclusive contract contract with Details,  which is the only men's lifestyle magazine that is allowed to publish embarrassing things about Rand Paul. How would libertarian heroes like Ayn Rand or Somali warlord Yusuf Ahmed Hagar Dabageed have dealt with this situation? Presumably they would have trusted the "invisible hand" of the market to guide intelligent readers towards publications with greater dedication to the truth. Does Rand Paul follow in the footsteps of these greats?

No, he plans to let the robed dictators of the fascist judiciary do his fighting for him.

"We are investigating all our options -- including legal ones," Rand Paul spokesman Jesse Benton emails [the Washington Post ]. "We will not tolerate drive by Journalism by a writer with a leftist agenda."

Enjoy jawing with a bunch of lawyers and watching the police enforce the judgement of the courts, sell-out!

But perhaps we are being too harsh? It's possible that Benton is contrasting the legal options that the Rand camp might take with the illegal actions that they will definitely take -- actions like, say, blindfolding and kidnapping GQ "drive by Journalist" Jason Zengerle and forcing him to ingest illegal narcotics and engage in pagan water-worshipping rituals.

Paul still has not directly addressed the most explosive revelation in the GQ piece: that people used to call him "Randy" when he was in college. [ WP ]