Steve Bannon Doesn't Just Have A Black Friend, HE HAS TWO OF THEM!

Nary a racist bone in his body!

Steve Bannon, who used to run theracially transcendent  neo-Nazi-sympathizing Breitbart website, who (ALLEGEDLY!) told his ex-wife he didn't want his girls going to school with a bunch of stinkin' Jews, and who is now Donald Trump's main man, is definitely not an anti-Semitic racist. He is the dude Andrew Breitbart said was just like the Leni Riefenstahl of the wingnut teabagger movement, which is just more evidence of how much he likes minorities.

So we must assume that he had only the most morally upright reasons in mind when, according to the  New York Times , he told his former film-making colleague Julia Jones that only people who own property should be able to vote:

Ms. Jones, the film colleague, said that in their years working together, Mr. Bannon occasionally talked about the genetic superiority of some people and once mused about the desirability of limiting the vote to property owners. “I said, ‘That would exclude a lot of African-­Americans,’” Ms. Jones recalled. “He said, ‘Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.’ I said, ‘But what about Wendy?’” referring to Mr. Bannon’s executive assistant. “He said, ‘She’s different. She’s family.’”

WENDY IS DIFFERENT! You see, Steve Bannon has a black friend! Now, maybe Bannon was referring to how back in ye olden days of America, only white dudes who owned property could vote. As Shaun King points out, maybe that's what Make America Great Again really means. (Sidenote: Trump would have TOTALLY won the popular vote if shit still worked like that in America, instead of losing it by eleventy gazillion votes.)

BUT HE DIDN'T MEAN WENDY.

Maybe we're missing the point, though, because according to the Times profile, Bannon has ANOTHER black friend, who says he's totally not a white supremacist. They worked together at Goldman Sachs!

Mr. Bannon’s African-­American friend from his Goldman years said that he had been at pains to defend him in recent years to mutual acquaintances put off first by Breitbart’s reputation and now by Mr. Bannon’s association with Mr. Trump. Most Christmas seasons over the past two decades, he said, Mr. Bannon was “my only token white guy,” or one of two or three, invited to an annual dinner at a New York City club for nearly a score of African-­American friends who work or worked in finance. “Now I’m getting a lot of, ‘What happened to Steve?’” from concerned black acquaintances, the friend said. He said he hoped Mr. Bannon — and more important, Mr. Trump — would more forthrightly denounce the bigots who have cheered them on. Still, he said, he completely rejects the accusations against Mr. Bannon. “Hell, no, he’s not a white nationalist,” the friend said.

Well then!

AND also too, Bannon's brother Mike says when they were little, their mom made them give up their seats to ladies on buses, even if those ladies were Indian Jewish black ladies. So! Case closed yet?

No, you are still skeptical, we can tell! What if we told you that Bannon's hometown newspaper, the  Richmond Times-Dispatch , also profiled him this weekend, and he told the paper he's not a racist? It includes tidbits about how back in the day, as the North Richmond neighborhood he grew up in became more racially diverse, his parents refused to move, because they liked the diversity, and he even described how he tried to keep his old private school from moving out into the whitey suburbs, because here's why:

Bannon said he wanted the school to keep a “city flavor” and diverse student body that he feared would be lost in a move away from the city.

I just think it’s very important for institutions that are in these cities to thrive, and you don’t just pull up the roots and move out to the counties,” Bannon said. “I’m a huge advocate of the inner cities and the vibrancy of the city. I think Richmond’s an example of that.”

O ... kay? Unclear whether he thinks all that vibrant inner city diversity should be allowed to vote, but MEH!

He does tell the Times-Dispatch that he thinks the Trump camp needs to make clear that haters and racists should be condemned:

Trump can win support among African-Americans and Hispanics, he said, if the new administration can deliver on a “unifying message” of strong schools, safe streets and jobs.

“And condemning any kind of form of racism or hatred that’s out there,” Bannon said.

That's good, we guess, BUT YOU COULD SAY IT LOUDER, YOU FUCKERS, JUST A SUGGESTION, SINCE MILLIONS OF AFRICAN-AMERICANS AND MUSLIMS AND LGBT PEOPLE AND WOMEN ARE ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED OF THE COMING TRUMP ADMINISTRATION. We are just saying!

Anyway, Bannon's former colleague Julia Jones says in the Times profile, unequivocally, that he is "not a racist," and that he's only using the neo-Nazis and racists who mouth-breathe all over Breitbart "for power." From the Times profile, it seems like his warm embrace of President-elect Donald Trump stems from those same motivations, so that gives us some comfort and reassurance!

HAHA JUST KIDDING, it just means Bannon is even more craven than we thought, so hooray!

[ New York Times / Richmond Times-Dispatch ]