Steve Bannon Isn't Nearly As Smart As He Thinks He Is. And Neither Are His Lawyers.

And he's not getting a presidential pardon this time around.

The Daily Beast has dispatches from Bannon World, and they are fuckbonkers as ever.

On December 7, Steve Bannon's lawyers flipped their shit at a status conference trying to convince the court that their client, who stood on the courthouse steps and livestreamed himself promising to turn his contempt of Congress case into "the misdemeanor from hell for Merrick Garland, Nancy Pelosi, and Joe Biden,” had no intention of posting court documents online. No, your honor, he would never use his podcast to paint a target on the back of some poor House staffer, honest!

In the event, US District Judge Carl Nichols, a Trump appointee, wasn't biting. He issued a protective order for the evidence as requested by the government. But, as the Beast's Jose Pagliery reports , losing this motion was actually great news for Ol' Three Shirts.

Bannon’s team is interpreting the judge’s order as a green light to dig into the Biden administration and expose what they find, according to a person familiar with Bannon’s case.

“Was this a politically motivated prosecution? The communications will show that… we’re going to ask for specific documents,” said the source, who spoke to The Daily Beast on condition of anonymity. “The judge will allow us behind the curtain.”

That's a stretch akin to sticking your right foot behind your head and scratching your left ear with it. The court imposed a bog standard protective order, regularly accepted by litigants in DC. There's zero indication that Judge Nichols is gearing up to allow Bannon to run the Michael Flynn play and dig so deeply into prosecution work product that it casts a pall over the entire proceeding.

And not for nothing, but Bannon's legal team includes Trump impeachment lawyer David Schoen and Bannon's old lawyer Robert Costello , the guy who told Bannon it was a great idea to give the House January 6 Select Committee two middle fingers and shout EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE, MOTHERFUCKERS. And if his name sounds familiar, it's because Costello is the one who tried to dangle a presidential pardon to Michael Cohen via a mangled Garth Brooks lyric.

It's clear that those guys think that's the play they're going to run. But Flynn had Attorney General Bill Barr there to undermine the investigation from the inside. So ... good luck to 'em!

Meanwhile, the Daily Beast's Zachary Petrizzo took another one for Team Sanity and watched Bannon's War Room podcast again. Apparently Poppy Gin Farts thinks he's king of American elections now.

“We are going to get it decertified,” Bannon said, referring to the 2020 presidential election, which the hotly contested MAGA character erroneously insists Trump won. “And hey, all they want to talk about all day long is Omicron and 6 January. And we love it,” he continued. “Cuz nobody cares. We care because we care about the legitimacy of our process. We are a constitutional republic. And guess what, we are going to take over the election apparatus.” Bannon further noted that “American citizens” will aid him in the proposed election system takeover.

“I understand you don’t think that’s democracy because the globalists have done the misdirection plays and had everyone looking the other way,” he added, speaking to MSNBC producers he thinks breathlessly watch his daily War Room: Pandemic podcast.

UH HUH.

Well, on the one hand, LOL. But on the other hand, as ProPublica has reported, Bannon is mobilizing his supporters to get themselves put in charge of local and state elections as well as volunteering to be poll watchers in hopes of catching supposed fraudsters. Which is fucking terrifying.

On the plus side, Bannon's loyal followers are even less competent than his lawyers, so ... keep a happy thought.

Open thread!

[ Beast / Beast / US v. Bannon , Docket via Court Listener]

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