237 Comments

Whaddaya wanna bet those ugly things are locked up in a safe somewhere? Or already pawned? Sounds like mama had some buyer's remorse.

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We've got your back. Is that the Casio with the virgin vinyl wristband and the glow-in-the-dark numerals? Built-in stopwatch?

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And if someone yelled, "Hey, lady, look, I found it!", I'm guessing her tears would not be ones of relief.

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Better dental work, also too

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And the timing was damned convenient. I'm impressed she had the self-control to wait three months after the appraisal.

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But you get to clock in before you leave the house, and after you return, right? Portal to portal, baby. You're worth it.

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Grifters and thieves, grifters and thieves, grifters and thieves....

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No honest person would ever take a $5,000 claim and then explicitly inflate it to $50,000. Just sayin. This trait would seem to bear on Ms. Vermin's fitness for office.

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Ostrich leather sport band!

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You know I wish you luck. I'm traveling this year with an irreplaceable, original oil painting of my cat, and a jar of precious, spa-quality bath oil beads valued at $409.55. Oh, how I hope no one steals my imitation alligator hide tote - or is it genuine?

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Truth in advertising

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Junior Miss Panties

Gotta collect the whole set

Excuse me, my guillotine needs sharpening

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There, their, they’re, take a deep breath Jim

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The IRS doesn't let you do that. My SO traveled to his job, and they wouldn't let him deduct squat.

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Ah, I see the same three idjits are still following me. Huh, maybe they are the same person with three different accounts?

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Please let us know how you get on... you know we're all crossing everything we can for you.

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