Teabagger Tuesday! Liveblogging the Almost-Last Primary, YAY Christine!

Oh JESUS why did CNN put the retard on again? Is this the way toforceall viewer still able to work the remote to switch to MSNBC? (And yes, we are talking about Rick Sanchez, nature's accident.) They didn't even bring out thehologramof Jessica Yellin ... it's actually the real person, unseen since at least 2008. But Christine O'Donnell has 55% at this early point in the counting, and Rachel Maddow is going to have live teevee of the election, so the various pieces of the "liveblogging/commenting from home system" are coming together, like scabs chunks in the shower drain. HAHAHAH CHRISTINE O'DONNELL WON, AP JUST CALLED IT, HAHAHAH. Thank you, Abstinence Jeebus.

9: 00 PM -- New York New Hampshire Delaware DC Nate Silver Wisconsin Massachusetts, everything, hooray!

9: 01 PM -- This is, as people keep saying, the lastmajorprimary night ... why that qualifier? Because the Kenyan Republic of Hawaii has a primary on Saturday, "Islam Mosk Day."

9: 02 PM -- And we should point out that our Massachusetts Warblogger Garrett Quinn is doing the Boston.com liveblogging, so go look at him! 

9: 05 PM -- 54%-46% O'Donnell leading Mike Castle with81%reporting, good lord. Bet she'll finally masturbate tonight!

9: 07 PM -- Ergh, we've got no art prepared for tonight. Let's grab something.

9: 12 PM -- There. Will probably get some use out ofthisBlingee.

9: 18 PM -- 53%-47%, 99% reporting.

9: 22 PM -- 57,000 Delaware voters turned out to vote in this weird primary.

9: 23 PM -- We must find this MTV abstinence video, it is hilarious.

9: 25 PM -- Well, here's this ... the first 45 seconds or so, that's all you need:

9: 26 PM -- She says, when asked if she will make bikini pictures for male voters to wank to, AND WE QUOTE: "Um, I forget who said it before me, but uh, a candidate, several years ago, certainly said ... I'm not concerned the reason you vote for me, as long as you vote for me."

9: 26 PM -- And then she says she will not be "issuing any bikini shots," but if you wank to her on the Internet, she will accept your vote, even though your vote is a SIN against JEEBUS.

9: 29 PM -- What else is going on? Well, Jerry Brown took a break from his two-decade HATE OF BILL CLINTON to accept Bill Clinton's endorsement in the California governor race ... a useless endorsement, at this point.

9: 45 PM -- The Politico headline:

 The Tea Party Coup 

GOP nightmare: O'Donnell topples Castle

9: 50 PM -- Charlie Rangel's way ahead with 39% as of now, in one of the only actual contested House races in New York ... with 29 districts up for the usual two-year reacharound, there are very few races even fought. Uh, what we mean is, INSURGENCY! NATIONWIDE.

9: 55 PM -- Also in New York State, lifelong loser Rick Lazio is getting his ass handed to him by an actual racist teabagger creep. This guy, remember him? 

10: 06 PM -- And ... George W. Bush is giving back his Heisman Trophy. What does it mean, for America? Oh wait ....

10: 08 PM -- What the hell is thisUSA Todayheadline, "DC mayor dumped by Democrats‎ -- USA Today"? It's right there on Google News, leading here, but no sign of this MAJOR SCOOP. DoesUSA Todayeven know where Washingtonis? Here are the results as of five minutes ago:  

Vincent Gray (D) 0% 0

Ernest Johnson (D) 0% 0

Leo Alexander (D) 0% 0

Sulaimon Brown (D) 0% 0

Adrian Fenty (D) 0% 0

10: 17 PM -- Let's start another warblog ... liveblog, whatever it's called.