Teapocalypse Now: Liveblogging the 2010 Midterms, Part II
It's 8 p.m. on the East Coast and probably midnight tomorrow on the Alaskan West Coast, so let's begin the second awful installment of America's favorite liberal moan temple, the Wonkette Midterms 2010 Liveblogging Challenge! So far, Republicans have won important Senate seats such as the Rand Paul seat and the Rob Portman seat. Will Barack Obama be removed from office, along with his so-called "health care" scheme? And why did the Economy gang up on Democrats, anyway? Is the Great Recession simplyracist? (Yes.) But Chris Coons is the WINNER against Witchcraft and Patriotism! No, please Wiccan goddess in the Sky, do not take Christine O'Donnell from us, for goddess' sake, we NEED COMEDY now more than ever.
8: 00 PM -- You may want to consult PART I of our Liveblogging, which is here, or you may just want to drink rum out of a bowl on your lap, with a Krazy Straw.
8: 00 PM -- Wrestling lady is losing, Marco Rubio is the projected winner, so both wrestling and tanned gay moderates are the losers tonight. There are also many governor races, and you may be interested in the one that occurs in your home state!
8: 01 PM -- 50% for Rubio, only 30% for Charlie Crist. Like many liberals, we have grown to love Charlie this year. Now, he will be reduced to Twittering about Elton John concerts.
8: 02 PM -- All cable news panelists are now either a) paid political consultants or b) bloggers. How we've grown, as a Democracy!
8: 02 PM -- Speaking of bloggers, is Howard Fineman now with HuffPo or Boing Boing?
8: 05 PM -- And Georgia keeps their white Republican senator, hooray! (Civil War began 150 years ago.)
8: 15 PM -- One day soon there will be nothing left of Chuck Todd but a goatee yammering in a void.
8: 18 PM -- Years ago, our Sara K. Smith rudely suggested that Sarah Palin was going bald and wearing terrible wigs. Tonight, the Huffington Post joins our brave Pulitzer-winning coverage with this breaking update.
8: 21 PM -- If you're a little unfamiliar with some of the 435 House races today, you may have a life.
8: 23 PM -- CNN once again employs the trademark Shaky Handheld Camera to suggest the lard-ass panelists are moving something other than their mouths.
8: 30 PM -- Did you know we are also on the Twitter? Of course, you cannot comment on the Twitter.
8: 30 PM -- The second Senate pickup for Republicans: Arkansas polls just closed and Blanche Lincoln lost.
8: 31 PM -- And now, it is time to start thinking about how life will be for you, wearing a burqa and forced to have diabetes.
8: 33 PM -- "About 6 in 10 Del. voters say Obama doing good job." This is on the front page of the Delaware paper. Why does Delaware hate its "favorite daughter," Christine O'Donnell?
8: 37 PM -- Yay Democrats: Gun-nut anti-Obama cretin Joe Manchin has won the West Virginia Senate seat, so he's off to Washington to, uh, caucus with the Republicans?
8: 45 PM -- Oh yeah, Richard Blumenthal won in Connecticut, another Democrat Victory for being a professional bullshitter! GO DEMOCRATS YOU GOT THE MORAL ADVANTAGE, over trashy wrestling-teevee ladies, at least?
9: 00 PM -- Part III.
Way ahead of you, Brent. *drink*
It's all relative. W fancies himself an open-minded and anti-racist guy. He hired Condy and Colin, fer chrissakes. He spoke out against Muslim-hating. It is Connecticut-prep-school filtered through adopted Texan redneckishness. He allies himself with the evangelicals that are nice to the black people who come to his church. He doesn't use the word "nigger," even though some of his golf buddies do.
I must be drunk already.