232 Comments

Abbotts dumb COVID policies probably haven't killed off enough Republicans to undo the ridiculous voter suppression that makes what would otherwise be a purple state red. So I think we'll probably get stuck with another 6 years of Cruz.

Expand full comment

"So, Ted Cruz is arguing with the media about whether or not he’s worse luck than 13 black cats in a room full of broken mirrors. This seems like more icing on his political tombstone. Since he won re-election in 2018, he’s tried to overthrow the duly elected government, abandoned his freezing constituents during a devastating winter storm, and cost the Astros a World Series pennant. These are probably all equally bad, so maybe Texans have finally suffered enough and are willing to put Cruz out of our misery."

Forget it, Stephen, it's Texas town. They'll DEFINITELY re-elect this loathsome toad.

Expand full comment

This is superstitious. It would be bad, real bad to TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW

Expand full comment

I'm giving Allred my Allmoney!! I don't have much, but he's getting all of it!! I'm a founding monthly donor and every closing quarter I look for more when he comes for more!! Just 'cause I live in Texas doesn't mean I'm "one of them!!" 😫

Expand full comment

My heart goes out to any sane person living in Texas.

Signed,

Liberal in South Carolina

Expand full comment

Thanks for being one of the good Texans!

Expand full comment

As a Husky fan, I appreciate his attendance. However, the bitching by his constituents pisses me off. Cruz is observably bad on hundreds of issues, he's despised in the Senate, and has done nothing for the people of Texas. These are the reasons you shouldn't vote for him, not because he's bad luck. Morans! But if the people of Texas want to vote for somebody else because he's bad luck, then please do so. Whatever it takes.

Expand full comment

I'm not voting for Cruz because he's an anal cyst on the body politic.

Expand full comment

The best of all reasons!

Expand full comment

Allred should run ads of Cruz saying “call my press office” over pictures of Kate Cox.

Expand full comment

I don’t believe in curses, but fuck Ted Cruz. No one wants to see him when they’re trying to enjoy a game.

Expand full comment

Here I thought Houston was a dystopian crime ridden shithole hellscape like all cities. How can a pious Republican root for a team from there?

Expand full comment

No, only blue states have cities that are already burned down, but also full of crime.

Expand full comment

Residents of the center part of the city are sane, educated, kind, and therefore LUBral. It's the suburbs where the barbarism lives. For which, see: Bush the Dumber, Tom Delay, Ted Cruz, et alia.

Expand full comment

Fucking Ted. Leave UT alone, you Ivy-League asshole.

Expand full comment

Fuck Ted Cruz.

Expand full comment

Fuck Fled Ted Cruz!

Fuck Fled Ted Cancun Cruz!

Expand full comment

Thank you for not posting pictures. I can't decide if he looks douchier with or without the tree moss on his wobbly jowls.

Expand full comment

Douches gonna douche with or without hair face.

Expand full comment

Don't you mean "hair"?

Expand full comment

I prefer to focus on his odious policies, but if we're going to talk about his pustule, cyst like looks, I'll allow it.

Expand full comment

OT - I AM SHOCKED, FAM. (Narrator: she is not shocked.)

Russia Financed Kook Jr hired a Jan 6 insurrectionist and antivax grifter as comms director:

https://marytrump.substack.com/p/rfk-jr-hires-jan-6-rally-leader

Expand full comment

Gee, you mean the guy Steve Bannon pushed to run is allied with MAGAt loons and Russian stooges?

Expand full comment

Just when we thought we had them all figured out, they go and do exactly what we thought they would do (or something eerily fascisticly close)...

Expand full comment

The Ted Cruz Curse? Isn't that Heidi Cruz?

No, but seriously, fuck the Astros and fuck Ted Cruz.

Expand full comment

Ted Cruz is the curse on Heidi Cruz.

She must have done something heinous in a past life.

Expand full comment

The Astros do not deserve that. But Ted Cruz does.

Expand full comment

Phillies fan here so yes they do. And so does he.

Expand full comment

Dodgers fan hear: ditto!

Expand full comment

LOL. The same day we beat y'all's asses in the World Series, Philadelphia lost the MLS Cup Finals. Bad day for a Philadelphia fan.

How'd that combined no-hitter taste? :)

Expand full comment

Just wait til the Eagles lose the Superbowl (again)!

Expand full comment

According to a couple episodes of "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia", it's up to the fans whether or not the Eagles win. And if you can't trust one of the funniest TV shows EVER, who can you trust?

After all, it gave us the D.E.N.N.I.S. method!

Expand full comment

As an OSU fan I must reluctantly thank him for avenging our embarrassing loss in the Big 12 championship.

Expand full comment

While you're at it, Texas, vote out the ghouls you've elected as governor and AG.

Expand full comment

I like that the AG is just openly crooked. It's nice to see the future of America, where people at the top just steal whatever they want, like in Putin's Russia. This is what one party rule looks like.

Expand full comment

Is it possible? That Ted is a sort of .......... prion? There HAS to be a reason.

Expand full comment