248 Comments

Isn't he the one who likes canned soup?

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And "likes" certain kinds of porn, with his social media account.

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Not to mention his father offed a president. How is he still in office???

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I'm impressed he used "Malthusian" properly.

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Beto couldn't quite do it, but there must be somebody in Texas who can beat this slimeball.

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Rafael "Ted" Cruz Jr.: Carbon Enthusiast

Rafael Cruz Sr.: Carbine Enthusiast

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Pollution in the ocean decreased literally as soon as Ted Cruz came on land.

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If Beto had run in 2024,he would have beaten him but TX is still too red at the moment.

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TED CRUZ DOESN’T BELIEVE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO MASTURBATE“There is no substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals,” his legal team argued.https://www.vanityfair.com/...

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I find this very difficult to masturbate to.

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Does it come with a selection of beige crayons?

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Turgid legal prose always chops the wood so to speak.

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Wow - Vowels - is there nothing they can't do.

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Shouldn't it be in French and Spanish, too? He's Cubanadian, after all.

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Ted Cruz was the original cow fucker in the House, Devin learned everything that he knows and blows from him.

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I love this and imma steal it.

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