All the Texas dildos are in his butt in this picture, ALLEGEDLY. [wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/good-christian-girls-riding-dildos-straight-to-hell"></a>[/wonkbar]Tuesday, we told you about a disturbing trend Astrogliding its way across America, wherein otherwise pure Christian lady humans are losing their Christian salvation by playing with dildos all the time. If only somebody was willing to ride to their rescue, yank 'em out (and take the batt'ries out of their Rabbits too), so they could go to heaven and play Scattergories with Jesus for all eternity.
So does anyone remember former Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders, who became "former" during the Clinton administration due to her advocacy of masturbation?http://www.nytimes.com/1994...
Our politicians' creepy and prurient obsession with our fancy parts, as Mr. Rogers would call them, especially Ted's bizarre fixation on dildos, triggers my gag reflex.
Masturbation is a delightful capability for entertaining oneself, and I think it can enhance a healthy sexual relationship. As for safe sex, which was one of Elders's points, it's the safest sex you can have. Except for some guy I heard about who broke his neck trying to give himself a blowjob. That probably isn't true.
Maybe Ted's jealous. If I were married to him, I'd be in love with my dildo. If I could keep him from finding it.
Teddy did not go in far enough. He stopped short of what should have been the real climax: "unrelated to procreation or outside of a MARRIED HETEROSEXUAL interpersonal relationship"
With a 10 foot vote!
If Cruz had won, you'd still be able to purchase a personal massager at Walgreen's for those neck and shoulder pains, right?
Are there oinkers in Texas's?NEWS FLASH. CUNADIUN maggin baggun here!
So does anyone remember former Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders, who became "former" during the Clinton administration due to her advocacy of masturbation?http://www.nytimes.com/1994...
Our politicians' creepy and prurient obsession with our fancy parts, as Mr. Rogers would call them, especially Ted's bizarre fixation on dildos, triggers my gag reflex.
Masturbation is a delightful capability for entertaining oneself, and I think it can enhance a healthy sexual relationship. As for safe sex, which was one of Elders's points, it's the safest sex you can have. Except for some guy I heard about who broke his neck trying to give himself a blowjob. That probably isn't true.
Maybe Ted's jealous. If I were married to him, I'd be in love with my dildo. If I could keep him from finding it.
Any possible connection with this and Heidi's latest revelation about the soup?
"Ted Cruz Celebrated His Honeymoon By Stockpiling 100 Cans Of Soup."
http://talkingpointsmemo.co...
Is he trying to say his is that big? Doesn't that hurt his back?
Teddy did not go in far enough. He stopped short of what should have been the real climax: "unrelated to procreation or outside of a MARRIED HETEROSEXUAL interpersonal relationship"
Molly Ivins texsplains it all for yewhttps://www.youtube.com/wat...
Dildos and Ted Cruz- puuuuurfect together !
https://scontent-amt2-1.xx....
Gow awn, I'm listening...
eww!
https://youtu.be/LsA8C0zqIYc
which is why if you are going to use the back door, why not make an enema part of the foreplay?
I was at In-and-Out Burger in Westwood and no such thing was on the menu!
didn't know that they came with Balzac.