17 Comments
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Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

Did you clip your UPC's and mail in two box tops plus a SASE?

if so, they should be arriving in a bout 6-8 weeks

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Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

AKA the Ferguson PD

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Good_Gawd_Yall - Unperson's avatar

They could if they have the basket on the handlebars of the Hoverround.

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The Quirk's avatar

And whatever you do, MAKE NO ANNOUNCEMENTS OR PRESS STATEMENTS!

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The Quirk's avatar

But, but-- those guys shoot BACK!

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Dashboard Buddha's avatar

I'm not going to read them. I do what the Wonkettes in my head tell me to do. (actually, in this case I'm at work and it is not conducive to continued employment to yell out, OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE in my cubicle.)

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Chris Grrr's avatar

Yup. I took that advice because it's too early in the day to completely give up on hope and change.

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Chris Grrr's avatar

"Only assholes are outgunned" would seem to shed new light on that paranoid mindset, or maybe it's just particularly recursive derp.

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SullivanSt's avatar

"My God, it's full of derp"

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Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

It's weird that someone who is such an expert in pants-shittation, quite literally as well as figuratively, would be so critical of assholes. Perhaps self-hatred, or professional jealousy?

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Spotts1701, Taking Bible Guns's avatar

Well, glad I had no plans to go out on Thursday. What with the roving swarms of bullets and all.

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Comrade Wingtardd's avatar

<i>sweet baby Azathoth on an eldritch pogo stick, DO NOT read the comments</i>

Did that make <i>anyone</i> "not read the comments"?

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SullivanSt's avatar

That Nugent guy, there's a certain <em>il ne sait rien</em> about him.

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Monsieur_Grumpe's avatar

I went ahead and read some Ted’s Facebook comments despite the warning. This is the only one that made any sense and made me a little hungry. “I'll be dipping my rounds in bacon grease” Apparently Muslims are killed deader when shot with pork products.

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SullivanSt's avatar

On the understanding that it's locked from the outside and lacks both internet connectivity and cellphone signal, I hope.

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SullivanSt's avatar

Assumes facts not in evidence.

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