Stephen Colbert disgraced the dignified chambers of Congress with his recent testimony about Mexicans. But did you know that Stephen Colbert and his teevee show also gave Congress genital warts, which is actually not a big deal because Congress collects sexytime diseases, as a hobby? According to a former Hill staffer: “My experience with that show is like herpes. It never goes away, and it itches and sometimes flares up.” (That's disgusting.) Thanks for nothing except herpes, Stephen Colbert. Congress is officially blacklisting you, and no one will talk on your teevee show ever again.
What happens when you put a fluffer and Michelle Bachman between two slices of bread?
You get a fluffernutter sandwich.
Oh no! The republicans have lost their sense of humor. This is serious folks. No more watermelon jokes.
I need a rewind button.
September is one of the cruelest months.
Let us go, then, you and I, into the airport men's room stall....