A televangelist literally named Dollar has been caught trying to score $65 million from his parishioners so that his ministry could buy a new private jet. That's "new" because it's meant to replace his old private jet. Pastor Creflo Dollar (apparently "Rich Uncle Pennybags" was already taken) is the leader of the Creflo Dollar Ministries, and owner of World Changers International, a megachurch based in College Park, Georgia. World Changers is a prosperity gospel church, which teaches that the key to spiritual enlightenment is to "sow seeds," i.e. give lots and lots of money to your friendly neighborhood megachurch. God will see that you've planted that "seed" and will reward you by eliminating all of your debt and money problems. The fact that your prosperity gospel pastor lives so lavishly is just more proof that the system works.
God Damn! I want one of those planes! Did you check out the Gulfstream website? Damn! Everybody, send me a nickel. I promise I'll only use it for good, like trips to Fiji and New Zealand. And, I'll think of each and every one of you while I'm there. Bless you all.
I play guitar. And when I play guitar I celebrate, through my singing and playing, the Beauty and Wisdom of God. If I can get just one parishioner to send me eight dollars, I can buy a new set of strings. Thank you.
Don't forget the 20,000 pounds of bullshit
Unfortunately, I have these annoying scruples that prevent me from taking advantage of your no doubt prosperous service.
That's a lot of bibles.
Naked mammon worship is the name of my thrash metal band that covers gospel hymns.
flying commercial is hard you guys.
Not to mention the "Usable Baggage Volume" of 195 cubic feet.
Work me Lord!
"100,000 lbs of food"
Not meant to be a factual statement.
That's just Satan talking. Jesus WANTS you to be rich like Creflo! Trust me, the Bible is a very large book, I'm sure it says that somewhere...
-or start. :)
that's where they put the parishioners . . . the money rides up front!
God Damn! I want one of those planes! Did you check out the Gulfstream website? Damn! Everybody, send me a nickel. I promise I'll only use it for good, like trips to Fiji and New Zealand. And, I'll think of each and every one of you while I'm there. Bless you all.
"Tax the chruches... Tax the businesses owned by the churches..."-Frank Zappa
is that you Emily?
I play guitar. And when I play guitar I celebrate, through my singing and playing, the Beauty and Wisdom of God. If I can get just one parishioner to send me eight dollars, I can buy a new set of strings. Thank you.
sounds interesting.
[i could move out of my apartment into something roomy]