Tell Us Your Birthday And We'll Project 2025 Ways You Might Spend It! Tabs, Tues., July 9, 2024

Pretty sure we're going to just keep putting those words in headlines.

The new Trump-led Republican National Committee wheeled out its new Republican platform, which tries to swindle voters by basically saying nothing about abortion. You know, as if Donald Trump didn’t personally make sure Roe was overturned, and as if he won’t pay his Christian fascist supporters back with new abortion bans and regulations from Project 2025 and beyond, should he get into office. Still, anti-abortion activists are PISSED. {MeidasTouch]

So the new media/cultist story is that Joe Biden has Parkinson’s, we guess? Because a Parkinson’s doctor visited the White House, including some times when Biden wasn’t even there? [New York Times]

Anyway, White House press corps were fucking garbage about that yesterday, and now the White House physician has apparently broken protocol (with permission) to explain why that doctor kept visiting the White House. [CBS News / Acyn]

Oh golly, where has Donald Trump gone? asked the people who still think the media might be capable of feeling shame over their insanely disparate treatment of Biden vs. Trump. Biden is out there every single day, and Trump is nowhere to be seen since the debate. Is he sick? Is he dead? Is he COVID? Is he Person Man Woman Camera TV? Is he shark batteries? Gonna go out on a limb and guess Trump is happily sitting on the toilet watching the media gleefully take down the Democratic presidential nominee for fun and profit. [search of Where+Is+Trump on Twitter]

Oh, Trump’s campaign is definitely announcing that Joe Biden is dropping out though. [Mediaite]

Kristi Noem’s official social media accounts have disappeared. Ha ha ha, wouldn’t it be funny if the Trump campaign is secretly so mindfucked by this whole Biden controversy that Trump’s going to say fuck it and be a legend and choose the dog murderer as his running mate, because she’s a woman, because he’s scared and thinks he’s going to have to run against Kamala Harris now, and this is his “solution”? We might have had too much sugar cereal, but if that happens, you read the prophecy here first. [Guardian]

Over at my Friday newsletter place, we talked about the very real fact that Nashville — and a number of other very blue places — have literally no congressional representation. Nada! Y’all, we better be ready to save the world in November, because we have a lot of unfinished work to do AFTER that, and it would be nice to still have a country to do it in. Come by! [The Moral High Ground / audio version]

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Huh, well, all right! A 65-year-old white man in a MAGA hat peed on $500 worth of deli sandwiches at a department store in Ohio. The picture the local news station chose to illustrate “sandwich” is very “graphic design is my passion.” [21 WFMJ]

Look how Russia is using fake news websites and AI and also a real ex-Florida cop who now lives in Moscow to fuck with our election. [BBC]

Red State attorney general dumbasses are yelling at Joe Biden’s washing machines now, something something “moms against white baseball pants,” this country gets more mouthbreathing stupid every single day. [JoeMyGod]

The New York Times isn’t much for journalism the past decade or so, but this “Taverna Salad” looks delish! [NYT recipes]

Did you know Bentonville, Arkansas, is being talked about as a new hipster liberal boomtown like Austin? Yeah, that’d be Bentonville where Walmart, Tyson Foods and J.B. Hunt are. It’s part of a larger mini metropolis that includes Fayetteville (University of Arkansas), Rogers, Springdale and the Duggar family. And yes, it’s because Walmart HQ that this is happening. Here’s an article from a couple years ago, plus a news report from last month [Medium]

Makes us want to get in touch with whoever in Democratic politics in Arkansas understands that for the opportunity it is.

Anyway, that’s good enough, more terrible news as the day progresses!

Evan has a new side project called The Moral High Ground, you should check it out and subscribe there too!

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here. 

BlueSky! 

@evanjosephhurst on Threads!

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