</p> <p>The newest hysterical entry into the "who can wig out the best over gay marriage?" contest comes from the Knoxville Baptist Tabernacle Church in Knoxville, Tennessee, who <a href="http: //www.wbir.com/story/news/2015/03/16/churchs-equal-rights-message-draws-criticism/24882013/" target="_blank">decided to use their church sign</a> to remind everyone that this whole fight for "equal rights" is nothing new. In fact, Satan himself debuted the concept, when he wanted equality with God, or something like that, we are pretty sure none of this is in the Bible: </p><hr/><p/><blockquote>A marquee message posted outside an East Knoxville church has sparked controversy. The church's pastor says people have misunderstood the communication. <p>The Knoxville Baptist Tabernacle sign read, "Remember Satan was the first to demand equal rights." </p><p>It was later changed, but it angered some who saw it. It was interpreted in different ways.</p></blockquote> <p>What, you don't remember when Satan got this whole dumb idea of "equality" rolling in the first place? What do you think "Sympathy For The Devil" is about anyway? </p><p>Well, in case you are BIBLE ILLITERATE, it's that, long before women's suffrage, the Civil Rights Movement, this whole LGBT hullabaloo and of course the fetuses who march on Washington every day in order to be given power of attorney over their mothers, Satan was doing a little of marching of his own, right up to heaven, where he said "make some space on your throne and move over, JEHOVAH, or at least give my dwelling place the same air conditioning system you have," and God was like "NOPE" and kicked him down to hell. It's too bad you missed that lesson in Sunday School, perhaps if you hadn't stayed up late smoking drugs with your dumb friends you would remember. </p><p>The pastor of the church, though he was clearly trying to say that God hates fags, ended up offending other people as well, imagine that: </p><p/><blockquote>Andy Henry interpreted it as being aimed at a particular group of people. <p>"It's clearly a sign that was meant to offend a particular community - the LGBT community. Because of (the church's) lack of foresight, they ended up offending everybody who had ever fought for equality or civil rights in general." </p><p>Pastor Tony Greene says he meant no offense. He said the church was not targeting a certain group. </p><p>He thinks people misunderstood his message. </p><p>"Be careful when you demand your equal rights that you don't hurt others around you. You've got to consider everyone around you," he said.</p></blockquote> <p>Ha ha, when he says they weren't targeting a certain group, he is lying. Or maybe we are all stupid, and just need to consider the needs of the people we are demanding equality from. Won't somebody think of the property-owning males, the white people, men in general and, for that matter GOD? All you equal-rightsy people make them cry, and you need to stop. </p><p>After predictable backlash, the church reportedly changed the sign to say OOPS SORRY LUV JESUS, or more precisely, "Glad you reading,[<em>sic</em>] didn't mean to offend, we all need Christ": </p><p><a href="https://assets.rbl.ms/17680602/origin.png"><img id="fdff3" data-rm-shortcode-id="4ac5f8f6d8b005f0fdac59b8be296925" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" class="rm-shortcode " loading="lazy" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY4MDYwMi9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTcyMzgwNTMwOX0.ifYkXKtUgPcue6w-SD3i6UP3BZq22VsM6HKxhN14AQM/img.png?width=980" /></a> </p><p>So it's all better now, the people at that church can't Grammar Good, and everybody is equal after all, in needing Jesus, especially all you liberal abortionist homo lesbos. According to the news report, the church changes their sign every week, so we probably should start monitoring it on the regular; that could be fun. </p><p>[<a href="http://www.wbir.com/story/news/2015/03/16/churchs-equal-rights-message-draws-criticism/24882013/" target="_blank">WBIR</a> <em>via</em> <a href="http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2015/03/tennessee-church-sign-remember-satan-was-the-first-to-demand-equal-rights/#.VQtnZC1m_D0.facebook" target="_blank">Raw Story</a>]</p>
Satan wants the RIGHT to be equal to the One Creator.
Satan wants the FREEDOM for his RIGHT to do what is right in his own eyes.
Satan wants to be free to serve and magnify oneself as a god.
Satan wants his way of self-freedom to be the "god of fortresses".
Satan rebelled against the One Creator and he presented this way of self-freedom, of freedom of self-rights, of equality of rights to Eve ( the spirit of man) saying " are you free to take of any of the trees?"..."most surely you (your freedom) will not die for in the day that you take of this tree ( you disobey) you will be like "god" ".
And Eve confessed that this tree ( forbidden by the One Creator) is instead "good" for one's self-wisdom and desires......disobeying the One Creator and TAKING her freedom to do what is right in her own eyes.
...and today man ( all mankind) willingly desires and carries this mark on his forehead and on his hand.
BUT man is not free to do "his will", he is not free to do "his rights", he is not "equal" to the One God for the Creator warned man that the judgement and punishment for this disobedience, this lawlessness, this sin is death.
Very soon, the Lord Jesus Christ will return to rule the earth in power and obedience as the One King according to the Will of 'I AM' and NOT according to man's first love for "his freedom, his rights, his equality", for his desire to serve and magnify oneself (XES).
...and man will weep and clench his teeth in intense anger when his FREEDOM will be no more.
If these guys could just go ahead and recreate the chuch scene from Kingsman, that would be great...
Jeez, you people are touchy!
I have a dream...
“Be careful when you demand your equal rights that you don’t hurt others around you. You’ve got to consider everyone around you,”
*headdesk* What part of "equal" does this godbothering imbecile not get?
"Do unto others, and make damned sure that they can't do unto you."
Relatively good.
I like to think I made Faust interesting, too.
Satan wants the RIGHT to be equal to the One Creator.
Satan wants the FREEDOM for his RIGHT to do what is right in his own eyes.
Satan wants to be free to serve and magnify oneself as a god.
Satan wants his way of self-freedom to be the "god of fortresses".
Satan rebelled against the One Creator and he presented this way of self-freedom, of freedom of self-rights, of equality of rights to Eve ( the spirit of man) saying " are you free to take of any of the trees?"..."most surely you (your freedom) will not die for in the day that you take of this tree ( you disobey) you will be like "god" ".
And Eve confessed that this tree ( forbidden by the One Creator) is instead "good" for one's self-wisdom and desires......disobeying the One Creator and TAKING her freedom to do what is right in her own eyes.
...and today man ( all mankind) willingly desires and carries this mark on his forehead and on his hand.
BUT man is not free to do "his will", he is not free to do "his rights", he is not "equal" to the One God for the Creator warned man that the judgement and punishment for this disobedience, this lawlessness, this sin is death.
Very soon, the Lord Jesus Christ will return to rule the earth in power and obedience as the One King according to the Will of 'I AM' and NOT according to man's first love for "his freedom, his rights, his equality", for his desire to serve and magnify oneself (XES).
...and man will weep and clench his teeth in intense anger when his FREEDOM will be no more.
So that's what happened to Flounder after he left Faber college
Also thought up the Designated Hitter.
Or Elvis, maybe?
don't give him any ideas...
Same end of the season suit sale in the J.C. Penny's big boys department.
I have standards. I will not abide dog on car sex.
Beyond Alpheratz.
He pulled that necktie out of Dick Cheney's asshole. It was part of a magic act at a Republican fundraiser