Terrorists Deprive Hard-Working Americans Of Their Right To Jail

• Bruce Marks, head of the Neighborhood Assistance Corporation of America, helps distressed homeowners by calling up banks and just being a shouty jerk to them until he gets what he wants. [ Wall Street Journal ]

• Once signed by President Obama, the credit-card bill that institutes badly needed reforms still won't go into effect for nine months. [ New York Daily News ]

• You will die unless you drive around in a 2500-pound sack of lead that gets 4 miles to the gallon. [ USA Today ]

• The rollout of this missing-link lemur thing is the biggest media event since the topless tween Hannah Montana appeared on the cover ofVanity Fair,a porn rag for the Hamptons set. [ New York Times ]

• More civilian casualties in Afghanistan, this one thanks to a NATO-led airstrike. [ Voice of America ]

• Guantanamo detainees shouldn't come to America because "U.S. jails are typically for U.S. citizens," says Mitch McConnell, which will be welcome news for the 8 percent of our incarcerated population who are citizens of another country. [ Washington Post ]