Terrorists Now Putting Bombs In Your Roaster Chickens

Because of the damn terrorists, hobos will now have to take off the roaster chickens they use as footwear before boarding planes. In the Chicago area last Friday, a "motorist" noticed a whole roaster chicken, presumably on the road, stuffed not with innards or stuffing or golden trinkets, but with an IED, to blow up America. The bomb was defused by Authorities, and it's a damn good thing -- apparently that was one of those "unfriendly" bombs that hurts people: "Police Capt. Matthew Catania would not describe the bomb, but said it was 'capable of causing harm to a person.'" Do not eat Roaster Chickens, ever. [ Chicago Sun-Times ]