319 Comments
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Tosca's avatar

I smell a class action lawsuit with damages that'll make Alex Jones's look like pocket change. Shrugging off potentially lethal manufacturing defects for SEVEN YEARS?? Jesus. How many people died, I wonder?

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Kara Mustafa's avatar

Too bad that the Tesla family couldn't patent the old man's name for eternity.

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BrianW's avatar

"We know that parts are defective, so let's blame it on the drivers."

I would have thought that all those Ford Pinto executives would have retired or died by now. Glad to see Elon got some to come out of retirement. Watta job creator!

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subterrene's avatar

Everyone knows a sure sign of engineering excellence is when a car catches fire for no reason or the bumpers just fall off.

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JoannaJeannineJanet's avatar

The guy's car craps out on the first day and he spends $14,000 to fix it and is still presumably driving his daughter around in it?

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clairence's avatar

But it's a TESLA!

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NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

He sure as hell wouldn’t be able to sell it…

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Leah Brown's avatar

He did sell it, and apparently lost another 10k doing so.

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Lady Tavestock's avatar

The perfect mark!! I mean the perfect consumer!

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Khavrinen's avatar

"If people hadn’t driven the cars at all, they’d still be in perfect shape."

"You're not supposed to *drive* them, you just launch them into space like I did!" -- Elon

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John Peter's avatar

Always loved the 1980's "United Colors of Benneton" ads.

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Mary Arneson's avatar

Post-it notes were not invented by "two gals in Tucson." They were invented in Minnesota by Spencer Silver and Art Fry, who were working at 3M.

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Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

So they say!

But the real inventors were Stan 'The Man' Lee and 'Sturdy' Steve Ditko who gave Spiderman a webbing that dissolved after Spidey handed the bad guys over to the NYC po-po! Spidey even tried to sell the formula to an adhesive conglomerate who turned him down! An adhesive whose strength dissipated in an hour had "no commercial potential".

Those 3M fucks thought otherwise and the rest is history.

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Amanda Rez's avatar

I think it’s supposed to be a Romy and Michelle go to their high school reunion joke/ at the reunion they claim to have invented post it notes

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Plain Marie's avatar

As best I can remember: "In my dream, I knew the formula for glue."

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DemoCat's avatar

Musk and his crap wagons are the SkyMall version of an EV. The immediate future of automotive technology is EV, and with all the major manufacturers investing billions in the technology, there are simply too many choices to sustain that kind of absurd quality control. Blaming the vehicle owner is fine if clear evidence of abuse or neglect is shown. But if the vehicles are failing due to “use,” that and the owner being a gargantuan douchebag might not boost sales.

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Lady Tavestock's avatar

I loved to flip through the SkyMall magazine!

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Nancy Naive's avatar

Turn? Why would I turn?

Still, all-in-all, it’s safer than a Sunbeam Tiger.

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"M"'s avatar

"Which is why it’s so surprising that Reuters reports that Musk’s car company, Tesla, knew it had crap parts in its cars’ steering and suspension systems, but fought against recalls and told regulators that the problems were due to “abuse” by drivers, and had nothing to do with their faulty components."

This was practically a plot point in Gene Hackman and Mary Elizabeth Mastroantonio's Class Action

And that came out at some point in the 90s IINM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkmMWLwvXzw

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Boojum's avatar

It is clearly driver abuse. Tesla is abusing the drivers of Teslas.

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"M"'s avatar

Boom. There it is.

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Enter Ranting's avatar

We also have Tesla to thank for the unbridled proliferation of touchscreen-only controls in cars. Elon slapped a big touchscreen in the middle of the dashboard in his new sedan because Tesla was a struggling start-up, and designing, producing, and implementing individual bespoke switchgear is expensive. It's a lazy design cop-out. What happens when the screen inevitably fails?

Touchscreens can't be operated without looking at them. They provide no tactile feedback. A great way to impart a sense of quality to a car is to provide quality switchgear that operates with a muted click. Audi used to know about this. So did Mercedes. Even Honda's switches had a silky, positive operation. You could tell just by pressing a button or turning a knob that you had changed a setting. Mercedes has flushed a century's worth of knowledge about ergonomics in favor of poking at a fingerprint-covered piece of glass.

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Revenant's avatar

I HATE TOUCHSCREENS PASSIONATELY. I never know whether they are going to notice, or obey some nearby instruction rather than the one I picked. Grrrrrr.

And, typing on my phone, I am too often interrupted by the screen I'm on being replaced by the orange substack screen or that stupid emoji screen, because of not hitting the space button accurately.

Fuck emojis too, childish goddamn things.

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glenglish's avatar

This Muskurbator is another old money fuckwad to steer clear of. At least the advertisers were polite when they told Musk to take his virtual public shitter wall n'stick his ass with it. He obviously bought the graffiti fucked wall to see what kinda shit he could throw on it n'see what sticks.

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GrannysKnitting's avatar

for the amount of money you pissed away to get one of those things, you'd expect it to be able to handle a low speed turn the day after you bought it

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