If you all think this is bad, take a look at the platform stylings of the Tex-ass GOP. Headlines: repeal of the 17th Amendment (direct election of Senators), the 16th Amendment (income tax), the 14th Amendment (due process, birthright citizenship), candidates for statewide office must win a majority of Texas' 254 counties, not the total vote, abolishing the Federal Reserve and a buncha more blah blah.
If I rolled my eyeballs any further back in my head, they'd get stuck.
you know, that may be why I need reading glasses more now than I did a few years ago lol...
I read the platform every two years in self-defense -- like other people who work for TX agencies (esp the ones that manage social services) I have to review any IT-related bills that might affect the agency I'm with, and since social services agencies are the GQP's natural enemies and frequent targets (we're almost as popular with them as Planned Parenthood) we do our best not to get blindsided with whatever batshit legislation they've come up with most recently. Which for me means reading the platform ahead of time. Besides, I kind of like knowing what the fuckers are up to...
One of the planks from a couple of years ago was kind of a hoot -- I think it may have actually made it into bill form. Can't remember the exact language, but it was something about expanding anti-trust protections to prevent "woke corporations" from colluding to drive non-woke companies out of business. Republicans expanding anti-trust protections? wtaf??
Not surprised that acquaintances who used to own a gun store moved to Texas, but I hope they kept SOME of their lilberal CA leanings. Fuck Texas government.
Sometimes I feel sorry for my relatives that live in Texas. Some of them got left there after their spouses or themselves completed their military service but a lot of them actually chose to live there. Ugh!
Weird how Dems are "swooping" in and saving a Rethuglican - as if they descended en masse to skew the vote at the last minute after somehow secretly ascertaining the results up to that point.
Also, as Dems are gerrymandered and voter suppressed in Texass they pretty much have to choose the least stinky GQP turd as they won't actually get to have their candidate of choice survive the general.
Fuck Texass, Fuck Abbott and Paxton and especially FUCK TED CRUZ.
Lies (in the form of slippery statistics), threats, and more threats. Plus dehumanization of an entire political party, anyone who votes for them, and anyone who might benefit from their votes.
What else is the Law 'n' Order party up to in Texas? Oh yeah...excising the full personhood of women and trans people.
Paxton is a criminal according to the SEC and his illegal dealings in the markets. That’s WHY he’s TX AG… shields him from prosecution & real jail time. If TX ever gets their heads out of their posteriors & stops being republican fools and tools.
Maybe Ken and Don can get together in the yard every other Tuesday, while doing Their Time because They Did The Crime.
Paxton can't say anything good about Phelan's opponents, so he smears Phelan by accusing him of *checks notes* being able to get votes from more than just his own party.
Paxton has had a lifetime to work his way up to Trump-level corruption and creepiness. He hasn't had the same level of resources as Trump, but that's not for lack of trying. The guy has been under indictment for fraud since 2015, the year he took office. The only reason he's not sitting behind bars is because as AG, he can manipulate the court system from on high so he's never been tried on the charges, especially not in a district that's unfriendly to him.
The night Abbott, Paxton, and Dan Patrick were elected, I dreamed (nightmared?) that I was back in Houston, at the sports bar Dan Patrick used to own there, and a zombie attack broke out. In the dream, as my husband and I grabbed the kids and fled into the night, we were pursued by zombies that burst up out of the ground as we ran... and the zombies were Abbott, Paxton, and Patrick. Apparently my subconscious isn't particularly subtle. (It also seems to like blasts from the past -- don't think I've set foot in Patrick's bar since the mid-eighties.)
What is really interesting about Paxton vs Phelan, though, is what's going on in the lege, and not just little things like Phelan appearing to be shitfaced when he addressed the House in an evening session. It was obvious that there were be payback for "moderates" getting in the way of a good GQP coup, especially when it became clear that Paxton had enough influence (maybe compromat, even?) to break the opposition pretty quickly. So far Phelan has survived, though; even won his primary, so maybe there are still a few GQPers that prefer their AGs to NOT be indicted felons. (Not that the "moderates" would be that much better in the long run; but there's a chance they might not maim and kill quite as many migrants as Abbott has.)
FYI, Paxton is no longer under indictment for state securities fraud. He was scheduled to go to trial in Harris County (Houston) this April, but ended up taking a plea deal that I think only involved a fine, community service, and maybe probation.
Oh for fuck's sake. I completely missed that -- thank you! (Been a little distracted freaking out over everything else for the past few months.) I'd blame the special prosecutors for being lily-livered about the whole thing, but they are good lawyers, even if both of them HAVE defended Tom Delay in the past. In fact, Brian Wice is considered one of the best attorneys in the state.
Which I'm sure is why they decided to plead it out -- if Paxton could survive (even thrive) as AG after all the shit he's pulled, including being impeached by his own party, it really didn't look like he was ever going to pay for his crimes. Still doesn't. I'd lay odds that Paxton never coughs up an hour of community service nor a dime in restitution. Why would he? He's bulletproof now.
No problem - I totally understand how some of the crap news can slip through the cracks. Personally, I was looking forward to receiving a jury summons for that case; not that they’d ever pick me for the jury!
As a Texan and proud WD-40, I've probably more aware of Paxton's slime trail than most. In my opinion, two things make him worse than Trump. The first is that he possesses at least a bare minimum of knowledge about the American legal system works, and is able to retain skilled legal counsel to defend his crimes. The second being that he fairly regularly gets out of bed before noon to work towards his goals.
I don't underestimate the slimeball. And you're right -- he is more legally competent than Trump, by a long shot. I just find it so emblematic of the Texas GOP -- especially the ones that are Trump-aligned like Paxton -- that the state's three-term AG is able to waltz away from any accountability for his constant criming (not to mention his continuing work to facilitate Trump's criming) without even a scratch.
Well, even Abbot doesn't let Paxton get too close, just uses him to feed red meat to the sharks. . . And Dan Patrick is just a cartoon. If you would have told me that a Chamber of Commerce Republican like John Cornyn would be the last bastion of sanity on the Texas GOP, I wouldn't have believed you.
There's Texas, again. It seems to have fallen under control of a racketeer-influenced, corrupt organization. Gosh, I wish there were something that could be done about that.
I've been arguing with some people about Trump's (most recent) jury - Elise Stefanik was claiming some kind of illegal interference because the DA asked if anyone there were Trump voters. Sadly a lot of people seem confused about voir dire, and how trials in general work (e.g. just because the jury reached a result you don't like doesn't mean they based their decision on politics).
Trump railed against the jury because he only got 5 or 6 percent of the votes in Manhattan (I think it was more than that but I don’t care enough to check).
His lawyers had the opportunity to question potential jurors and IIRC even got to weigh in on the juror questionnaire. This complaint is like his complaint that the prosecutors didn’t call Keith Schiller or Alan Weisselberg. His lawyers could have called any witness they liked.
Maybe they asked him about this while he was resting his eyes.
"This treachery is a slap in the face..." Lighten up, Francis.
If you all think this is bad, take a look at the platform stylings of the Tex-ass GOP. Headlines: repeal of the 17th Amendment (direct election of Senators), the 16th Amendment (income tax), the 14th Amendment (due process, birthright citizenship), candidates for statewide office must win a majority of Texas' 254 counties, not the total vote, abolishing the Federal Reserve and a buncha more blah blah.
If I rolled my eyeballs any further back in my head, they'd get stuck.
you know, that may be why I need reading glasses more now than I did a few years ago lol...
I read the platform every two years in self-defense -- like other people who work for TX agencies (esp the ones that manage social services) I have to review any IT-related bills that might affect the agency I'm with, and since social services agencies are the GQP's natural enemies and frequent targets (we're almost as popular with them as Planned Parenthood) we do our best not to get blindsided with whatever batshit legislation they've come up with most recently. Which for me means reading the platform ahead of time. Besides, I kind of like knowing what the fuckers are up to...
One of the planks from a couple of years ago was kind of a hoot -- I think it may have actually made it into bill form. Can't remember the exact language, but it was something about expanding anti-trust protections to prevent "woke corporations" from colluding to drive non-woke companies out of business. Republicans expanding anti-trust protections? wtaf??
Not surprised that acquaintances who used to own a gun store moved to Texas, but I hope they kept SOME of their lilberal CA leanings. Fuck Texas government.
Sometimes I feel sorry for my relatives that live in Texas. Some of them got left there after their spouses or themselves completed their military service but a lot of them actually chose to live there. Ugh!
Weird how Dems are "swooping" in and saving a Rethuglican - as if they descended en masse to skew the vote at the last minute after somehow secretly ascertaining the results up to that point.
Also, as Dems are gerrymandered and voter suppressed in Texass they pretty much have to choose the least stinky GQP turd as they won't actually get to have their candidate of choice survive the general.
Fuck Texass, Fuck Abbott and Paxton and especially FUCK TED CRUZ.
Lies (in the form of slippery statistics), threats, and more threats. Plus dehumanization of an entire political party, anyone who votes for them, and anyone who might benefit from their votes.
What else is the Law 'n' Order party up to in Texas? Oh yeah...excising the full personhood of women and trans people.
But they ARE the Freedom Party.
Everything is bigger in Texas……especially the asshole politicians.
And (some say) "various body parts".
And their assholes. From which they spew shit like this.
Paxton is a criminal according to the SEC and his illegal dealings in the markets. That’s WHY he’s TX AG… shields him from prosecution & real jail time. If TX ever gets their heads out of their posteriors & stops being republican fools and tools.
Maybe Ken and Don can get together in the yard every other Tuesday, while doing Their Time because They Did The Crime.
Much like Trump, the GOP should have voted to remove that mother fucker. Now they are stuck with him as he goes after all of them who oppose him.
There are two words that are popular in the British vernacular but verboten here at Wonkette.
Paxton is both of them.
You can totally say fascist dick here.
Female genitalia is too complimentary for this guy so let's use male genitalia, which is really rather ugly yet silly.
Is it something like "ttwatt"?
Spotted dick?!
Spotted dickcunt
Spotty possibly-contagious dick?
A Persian kitty, perfumed and fair,
Strolled out of the kitchen to catch some air
When a tomcat, lean and lithe and strong
Dirty and yellow, came along
He sniffed at the perfumed Persian cat
As she strutted about with much eclat
And a-thinkin a bit the time to pass
He whispered, "Kitty, you sure got class"
"'Tis fitting and proper," was her reply
As she arched her whiskers over her eye
"I am ribboned, sleep on pillows of silk,
And I daily feed on certified milk"
"But I'm not content with what I've got
I ought to be happy, but happy I'm not
I should be joyful, yes indeed
For I'll have you know, I'm pedigreed"
"Now, hark," said the tomcat with a smile
"And trust in your new-found friend a while
You must abandon your backyard fence
My dear, you lack experience."
The joys of living he then unfurled
As he told her tales of the outside world
And then suggested, with a leering laugh
A trip for two down the primrose path
The morning after the night before
The cat came home at the hour of four
The innocent look from her face had went
And in its place was a smile of content
Two months later the kittens came
To that Persian kitty of pedigreed fame
They weren't Persian, they were black and tan
And she said that their daddy was a traveling man.
Someone in my Siamese's family was certainly a traveler, although the Siamese is strong with that one.
Sounds like the plot of "Gay Purr-ee"
And The Aristocats
Whereas "The Aristocrats!" is the current plot of the GOP.
Paxton can't say anything good about Phelan's opponents, so he smears Phelan by accusing him of *checks notes* being able to get votes from more than just his own party.
Paxton is giving Trump a run for the money in the slimiest, least attractive, most despicable man in America contest. Christ, what an asshole.
Paxton has had a lifetime to work his way up to Trump-level corruption and creepiness. He hasn't had the same level of resources as Trump, but that's not for lack of trying. The guy has been under indictment for fraud since 2015, the year he took office. The only reason he's not sitting behind bars is because as AG, he can manipulate the court system from on high so he's never been tried on the charges, especially not in a district that's unfriendly to him.
The night Abbott, Paxton, and Dan Patrick were elected, I dreamed (nightmared?) that I was back in Houston, at the sports bar Dan Patrick used to own there, and a zombie attack broke out. In the dream, as my husband and I grabbed the kids and fled into the night, we were pursued by zombies that burst up out of the ground as we ran... and the zombies were Abbott, Paxton, and Patrick. Apparently my subconscious isn't particularly subtle. (It also seems to like blasts from the past -- don't think I've set foot in Patrick's bar since the mid-eighties.)
What is really interesting about Paxton vs Phelan, though, is what's going on in the lege, and not just little things like Phelan appearing to be shitfaced when he addressed the House in an evening session. It was obvious that there were be payback for "moderates" getting in the way of a good GQP coup, especially when it became clear that Paxton had enough influence (maybe compromat, even?) to break the opposition pretty quickly. So far Phelan has survived, though; even won his primary, so maybe there are still a few GQPers that prefer their AGs to NOT be indicted felons. (Not that the "moderates" would be that much better in the long run; but there's a chance they might not maim and kill quite as many migrants as Abbott has.)
FYI, Paxton is no longer under indictment for state securities fraud. He was scheduled to go to trial in Harris County (Houston) this April, but ended up taking a plea deal that I think only involved a fine, community service, and maybe probation.
Oh for fuck's sake. I completely missed that -- thank you! (Been a little distracted freaking out over everything else for the past few months.) I'd blame the special prosecutors for being lily-livered about the whole thing, but they are good lawyers, even if both of them HAVE defended Tom Delay in the past. In fact, Brian Wice is considered one of the best attorneys in the state.
Which I'm sure is why they decided to plead it out -- if Paxton could survive (even thrive) as AG after all the shit he's pulled, including being impeached by his own party, it really didn't look like he was ever going to pay for his crimes. Still doesn't. I'd lay odds that Paxton never coughs up an hour of community service nor a dime in restitution. Why would he? He's bulletproof now.
No problem - I totally understand how some of the crap news can slip through the cracks. Personally, I was looking forward to receiving a jury summons for that case; not that they’d ever pick me for the jury!
As a Texan and proud WD-40, I've probably more aware of Paxton's slime trail than most. In my opinion, two things make him worse than Trump. The first is that he possesses at least a bare minimum of knowledge about the American legal system works, and is able to retain skilled legal counsel to defend his crimes. The second being that he fairly regularly gets out of bed before noon to work towards his goals.
I don't underestimate the slimeball. And you're right -- he is more legally competent than Trump, by a long shot. I just find it so emblematic of the Texas GOP -- especially the ones that are Trump-aligned like Paxton -- that the state's three-term AG is able to waltz away from any accountability for his constant criming (not to mention his continuing work to facilitate Trump's criming) without even a scratch.
Well, even Abbot doesn't let Paxton get too close, just uses him to feed red meat to the sharks. . . And Dan Patrick is just a cartoon. If you would have told me that a Chamber of Commerce Republican like John Cornyn would be the last bastion of sanity on the Texas GOP, I wouldn't have believed you.
Bury him underneath a jail. With votes. Shaped like *redacted redacted banhammered redacted*
There's Texas, again. It seems to have fallen under control of a racketeer-influenced, corrupt organization. Gosh, I wish there were something that could be done about that.
But they're still saying "Thank God for Louisiana"
Fiefdom.
It is what they want for all of our states.
Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
There'd be too much collateral damage. Wouldn't want to hurt any Mexican workers, for example.
I've been arguing with some people about Trump's (most recent) jury - Elise Stefanik was claiming some kind of illegal interference because the DA asked if anyone there were Trump voters. Sadly a lot of people seem confused about voir dire, and how trials in general work (e.g. just because the jury reached a result you don't like doesn't mean they based their decision on politics).
Trump railed against the jury because he only got 5 or 6 percent of the votes in Manhattan (I think it was more than that but I don’t care enough to check).
His lawyers had the opportunity to question potential jurors and IIRC even got to weigh in on the juror questionnaire. This complaint is like his complaint that the prosecutors didn’t call Keith Schiller or Alan Weisselberg. His lawyers could have called any witness they liked.
Maybe they asked him about this while he was resting his eyes.
Perhaps PAB might have learned a lesson that if you step on a lot of people on the way up you might just meet them again on the way down.
But that would indicate an ability to learn, and I don't think PAB's brain cells are close enough together for that to happen.
Lapses in synapses, for sure
It's depressing to realize that in Republican eyes Democrats are not Americans and should never be allowed to vote.
I feel that way about Republicans, though.
They'll get more whacky as their undemocratic grip on power continues to slip.