252 Comments
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Doktor Zoom's avatar

Just a reminder to you filthy fuckaducks that the goddamned commenting rules have not been suspended, so could you please try to stop fantasizing about neat tortures you'd like to inflict on Greg Abbott or Ken Paxton, or about what we really need is to have the regular Army shoot Texas National Guard members for being in rebellion, or whatever other fucking cruelties you wish to inflict in revenge for Abbott's cruelties.

Wonkette doesn't allow that and you should know better. You do not have to say nice things. But damned if I will let this comment section become a forum for murder fantasies.

Edit: We do not allow ableist shit like calling Abbott "hot wheels" either. His disability has fuck-all to do with his evil politics.

https://www.wonkette.com/p/rules-for-commenting-radicals

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Ashley's avatar

Can I talk about how I’m in my late 30s and I really want another child, but I can’t risk it bc of Gregory Wayne Abbott?

Can I talk about how he is on a fkn mission to destroy my kid’s school?

Can I talk about how he made his wife wait to adopt a blonde baby instead of a baby that looked like her? I don’t like Cecilia, but that’s icky.

Can I talk about how I’m basically trapped here bc of custody arrangements and bc I have an elderly mother who I cannot leave here all alone? Can I say that I don’t even fkn want to leave bc I’m too loud and too Texan and I like fighting these bastards too much?

Look… I’m just going to own this - you can’t stop me from having violent fantasies. I won’t say it. But I ain’t gon stop having violent fantasies about Gregory’s sorry ass.

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

But you’re the one working us into a lather, crying “havoc!” and letting loose the dogs of prose! “Filthy fuckaducks” are we? Well, who raked the muck that besmirched us? I don’t even think this “Texas” of yours exists!

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John Thorstensen's avatar

Besmirch statements!

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AboveTheGrayFog's avatar

If only the law actually worked and got Paxton removed from office, if not convicted, there wouldn't be a need for any fantasizing regarding him...

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Colbert Thorenson's avatar

It probably won't be a violent civil war anyway, just some tourists from Texas excising their constitutional freedoms and such . . .

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Mr Mild - BlueVotingBastard💙's avatar

Does fantasizing about the Mexican Army crossing the Rio Grande and retaking Texas while OHJB does nothing (cuz Texas sovereignty) count?

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John Norris's avatar

To help the Mexican Army, the US can Operation Jade Helm all along the Texas border. Thus drawing the NG's attention form the southern border while Mexico masses.

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Mr Mild - BlueVotingBastard💙's avatar

Sounds like you have already thought this through.

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marcus816's avatar

I won’t cry when that are moldering worm meat.

The world will be a better place when Paxton and Abbott are no longer in it. I hope I’m around to see it.

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fair_n_hite_451's avatar

Is wondering how potentially violent situations might play out allowed? Since I certainly strolled right up to that line a few days ago when questioning how things would go down if The Border Patrol borrowed a couple of tanks and just rolled through that new chain link fence.

Pretty sure I didn't say "and they should shoot the shit out of the Texas cosplayers" .... cause that seems like its pretty obviously over the line.

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Antifa Commander's avatar

Can we wish them into Twilight Zone-style fates of eternal ironic justice, then?

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Linda's Bitter Disappointment's avatar

I'd still like to redact him into the river with votes.

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

Hire a crane, and use it to gently place Abbott, Paxton, and Costello on the other side of the Rio Grande. Every time they cross, put them back.

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SkeptiKC's avatar

It is not the least bit becoming for any of us to sink to their base, reactive, violent depths.

So help me Sagan but we are better than that, dammit.

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M'Hael's avatar

I gotta admit, it is indeed VERY difficult at this point to refrain from positing... extreme responses... to Texas' cruelty and its FA without any HINT of ever FO.

BUT... that having been said, I am also quite terrified of the Editrix and her wrath, so I've been a good boy and not let my rage type for me. 😉

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Mighty Little Dog's avatar

You posted a story about civil war and then prohibited discussion of civil war? Did I get that right?

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MRK's avatar

This is not the place to fantasize about or advocate violence. We can discuss the right's civil war threats without doing either, but some people struggle to do that, hence Dok's reminder.

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Mighty Little Dog's avatar

It's not so much fantasizing about violence as admitting we are at the crumbling lip of violence in this country and how that might go down.

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MRK's avatar

If people were sticking to that side of the line, Dok wouldn't have bothered with this post.

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Parakeetist's avatar

Well, what *are* we allowed to write?

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MRK's avatar

I thought 'don't fantasise about or advocate for violence' left a lot of room for things to say. Maybe I was mistaken.

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Parakeetist's avatar

Oy oy oy oy.

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Monty Capuletti's avatar

Then stop writing these articles.

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User's avatar
Comment deleted
Jan 18, 2024
Comment deleted
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Parakeetist's avatar

Sigh

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Pixeloid's avatar

Isn't there any way we could just return Texas to Mexico?

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Zuzubof Kovax's avatar

Personally, I'm all for Texas leaving the Union. Then we can build a wall around Texas to keep *THEM* from entering the US. Then we'd see how they will *REALLY* cope with an *actual* Mexican (et. al) invasion...

Hmf. As if I ever get anything I want.

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Ashley's avatar

Ya know… I was going to say something very nasty, but I’ll tone it down a bit.

Non-hispanic white people are a fkn minority in Texas. Texas has the youngest and most diverse population in the fkn country. We also have 40 fucking electoral votes. You clearly don’t begin to grasp the level of disenfranchisement in this fkn state. I have the fkn balls to go knock on doors where I live - in fucking Waco, btw - and say “Hi, I’m here with the Beto O’Rourke campaign…” knowing that I’m quite literally risking my life. If the registered Democrat has moved, the person living there could very well be batshit. There’s a good fkn chance of that. We’re doing all we fkn can. Are y’all?

Last time I checked, it wasn’t me who didn’t bother to get voting rights passed and signed into law. That was the biggest issue for me in 2020 and the rest of the country really failed us tbh. I can tell you without any doubt, Gregory Wayne Abbott would not be our fkn governor had voting rights legislation been treated with the urgency it should have been.

Oh… and to answer your question - they would *REALLY* fucking kill them. Greg Abbott has already said he would fucking kill the migrants if the federal government didn’t stop him.

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Revenant's avatar

It might be significant that, of all the states that joined the treasonous Confederacy, only Texas and Florida escaped the salutary humbling of being conquered, defeated in battle in very convincing ways. Texas and Florida only threw in the towel when all the major states with the little poor industry that the South could muster, had surrendered. They were considered too distant and too feeble to pose any great threat, just a peanut gallery compared to the ferocious theatres of war in Virginia, Tennessee and Georgia, The Federals took a few half-hearted swipes at those two peripheral states and found that real invasion would divert too many resources from suppressing actual threats. Texas attempted in 1862, alone and with its own resources, to take over New Mexico and Arizona with an eye to continuing on to Colorado and even California. They were repelled and chased miserably and ignominiously, starving, back to Texas by loyal Colorado and New Mexican troops.

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Aki Carleton Hardin's avatar

So no more Tony Udo references?

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Stranger Than Friction's avatar

How can the Wonkette Kingdom help Texans to politically remove the "large and in charge" males who are messing everything up in their state?

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KEITH TAYLOR's avatar

Oh, Paxton says, in support of Abbott? Ken Paxton? The crooked and corrupt excuse for an AG the Lone Star State kept in office against the facts, the evidence, and decent principle? That Paxton?

I suppose that settles it.

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fuflans's avatar

so do the commenting rules cover 'i would not mind a Fed shooting war with texas?'

i mean just saying.

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JCfromNC's avatar

I would refer you to the pinned comment.

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Pilgrim's avatar

The sovereignty of the Several Governors is at best a tactical issue for the Christian Nationalists, who are "One Ring to Bind Them" people. Betcha Abbott is pushing for a fall here.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

The problem we have is that Abbott doesn’t waste time worrying about whether something is legal or constitutional. He just goes ahead and does it, knowing full well that (corrupt piece of shit) Paxton will back whatever racist cruelty he comes up with.

Even if he ultimately loses in court, he’s already gotten what he really wants: brownie points with the racist fuckwits who make up the gop base. So it’s win-win for him. Meanwhile, lots of poor brown people will suffer.

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John Norris's avatar

Why can't the Army federalize the NG, and all the state troopers and local cops in the reserves or NG, at the park and send them home?

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Zyxomma's avatar

Damn, TX. Do better. Ta, Dok.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

Anytime Paxton is mentioned in the media, a reminder that he is still under indictment for securities fraud should be mandatory.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Wait. We're talking about that Paxton?

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GrannysKnitting's avatar

i don't know how you can keep living in a state where your top reps behave that way (i know not everyone can afford to move, so why isn't more being done to oust these ass hats?)

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carovee's avatar

Wow. Gov. Abbott is making me cheer for the fucking US Border Patrol. Congratulations Abbott. You are more racist and inhumane than one of our more racist and inhumane federal agencies.

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Aileen's avatar

I'd be willing to sell Texas back to Mexico for a very good price.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I don't think we have that kind of money.

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GrannysKnitting's avatar

a can of beans would do it

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