Texas Republican Thinks It's Legal To Eat Babies. Should We Be Concerned?

Donner, party of four!

Last week, Republicans in the House passed a bill making it illegal to kill newborn babies, a thing that is and has always been illegal. This week, Texas state Sen. Bob Hall introduced a bill that would require that food and medicine that "contain or are derived from aborted human fetal tissue" be clearly labeled as such.

The proposed law would allow people to sell fetal tissue food products so long as they are "clearly and conspicuously labeled in accordance with department rules," a departure from the current law, which bars the selling of human tissue for any purpose other than donation. This, we can assume, does not pertain to snack foods.

The FDA also has not approved any foods containing human fetal tissue.

“There are no conditions under which the FDA would consider human fetal tissue to be safe or legal for human or animal consumption,” an FDA spokesperson told VICE News in a statement.

One assumes this is not the kind of thing you can easily import from other countries, either, the way some of us import effective sunscreen . I don't really want "Where can one order food made of dead fetuses?" in my Google history, but I think we can assume that this is not legal in any other countries either.

But Bob Hall is not so sure. Indeed, he thinks people are regularly eating food containing human fetal parts without knowing they contain human fetal parts.

“Unfortunately, many Texans are unknowingly consuming products that either contain human fetal parts or were developed using human fetal parts,” Hall's office told HuffPost in a statement. “While some may not be bothered by this, there are many Texans with religious or moral beliefs that would oppose consumption or use of these products.”

Now, sure — it is easy to laugh at state Sen. Hall and point out the fact that there are literally zero foods with fetus parts in them, and that the FDA would absolutely never approve such foods. But I say we give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, he likely runs in different circles than we do, goes to different parties. I don't hang around with a lot of (or any) Texas Republicans, so it is entirely possible that Texas Republicans are going around eating babies or eating food with fetal parts in it on the regular.

I'm just saying ... I've seen The Texas Chainsaw Massacre .

Famous Texas cannibal family Texas Chainsaw Massacre Wiki 

I personally couldn't say that I know for sure that Texas Republicans are not having weird parties where they drape napkins on their heads and eat fetal remains like Ortolan buntings. Who among us could?

Apart from the proper labeling of fetus snacks, it is likely that this law also refers to the fact that many vaccines and medicines are developed using HEK-293, a fetal cell line developed in a lab from a fetus that was either aborted or miscarried in 1973. The use of these cell lines to develop some COVID vaccines has been a source of controversy among forced birth enthusiasts over the last few years, despite the fact that the Vatican said it was fine. 

There was also some fake news a while back about the fetal cell line being used as "flavor enhancers" in foods, which also was not a thing.

While HEK cells have been developed for use as "taste testers," none of these cells have or would be incorporated into any foods. Least of all because that would be incredibly expensive.

The whole conspiracy would be a logistical nightmare, frankly. We would have to assume that food companies were buying up all of the aborted fetuses in the country without anyone noticing, and even that wouldn't amount to much "tissue," since 93 percent of abortions occur within the first trimester when the fetus is maybe 3 inches long. And then they'd just be incorporating a tiny bit of human tissue in everything they sell? Would this whole Sweeney Todd operation not be incredibly difficult and expensive?

A Little Priest - Angela Lansbury & Len Cariou (July 2005)    www.youtube.com 

“A well-informed consumer can make whatever choice they decide on purchasing a product so long as they have all of the information in hand to make the choice,” Hall told HuffPost in an email. And you know what? That's fair. I am totally fine with people knowing everything they need to know about their foods and medicines. If they don't want to take medications developed using immortalized fetal cell lines, they should be free not to do that. Though they might be a tad disappointed to find that the list of medications developed using HEK 293 cells also includes "acetaminophen, albuterol, aspirin, ibuprofen, Tylenol, Pepto Bismol, Tums, Lipitor, Senokot, Motrin, Maalox, Ex-Lax, Benadryl, Sudafed, Preparation H, Claritin, Prilosec, and Zoloft."

 Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons .

Wonkette is independent and fully funded by readers like you. Click below to tip us!