294 Comments
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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

"Swamp"

Capitalized. One of their ten words.

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Revenant's avatar

Turns out, randomly grasped straws do not make an adequate floatation device.

And that picture above could substitute for a definition of the word "smirk" in any dictionary and leave no inquirer uncertain of its meaning. He ought to be ejected, forcibly, from office for that look on his face alone.

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The Horned Tulip God's avatar

It is a rather punchable face.

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Revenant's avatar

the ocean, I am told, is rather damp.

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The Horned Tulip God's avatar

Just a bit.

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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

"Turns out, randomly grasped straws do not make an adequate floatation device."

Especially when they are all loaded on the same camel.

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Johnny Appleseed's avatar

Ah yes, the ole "holier-than-thou" defense. Didn't work, eh? Shucks, mebbe next time.

And you know yer fucked when Trump is defending you! Cause that guy is wayyyyy fucked.

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Mr blob's avatar

More friends in only the highest of places

https://x.com/mschlapp/status/1699111693593243759?s=46&t=QTHD9GMfDGpAyfUoOmtJMw

He wrote this locked out of his home by the pool boy

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Revenant's avatar

they're really comin' out of the woodwork, aren't they?

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Teddy Barnes's avatar

DUDE!!!! I didn't know what to expect when I clicked on that link.......I SHOT BEER OUT MY NOSE!!!!!

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DJ Teetop's avatar

He'll show Mercy come clean up time

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Johnny Appleseed's avatar

All the boyz are gonna ride in yer Mercedes boy, er Matty.

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Liz. Has Paxton gotten to the FO stage?

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Mary O'Grady's avatar

It's starting now.

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Monty Capuletti's avatar

I can only say Wonkette’s photo editor was FAR kinder than I would have been in selecting a photo of Mr. Paxton for this post.

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Zap's avatar

Still doesn't trim his nose hairs.

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Dogfather's avatar

How, pray, does one combat a swamp? Also, RINO hunting season? Jesus these people.

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Revenant's avatar

he's hoping for another of those triumphant post-hunt portraits of him and Uday and their high caliber boomsticks gloating over their fallen prey. but...who does he think is going to tie down a dissident Republican for him to shoot?

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Johnny Appleseed's avatar

It appears Cucker Tarlson is predicting a slightly different hunting season. I may not agree with Cucker but I sure can't stop him.

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John Norris's avatar

Paxton is being persecuted by the Deep Lone Star State.

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UVB-76's avatar

Good.

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kelley's avatar

Please god

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Wondering Woman's avatar

I’m assuming that this Swamp all these idiots speak of is full of Republican slime. Can’t be drained so they just pretend it’s a nice lake and blame the left for the slime.

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Zap's avatar

Testicle chin.

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Hello_who_dis's avatar

I shall see nothing else in his image now. Thank you.

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Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

And we should trust Don "Cokehead" Jr on anything other than his ability to tie his own shoes because ... ?

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zb23's avatar

he might be the next vice president? i'm probably being ridiculous but who else could Trump trust to go along with his fascist schemes with absolutely zero pushback? even massive sycophants and enablers like Pence were like 'hey now...' but there would be no such issues with Don Jr.

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DDB9000's avatar

Well, for one thing it would depend of his actual state of resident. The Constitution says that the President and VP must be from different states. Don't know if there is a length of time someone has to be a resident.

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Revenant's avatar

Darth Cheney already shambled through that barrier, showing it to be null and void.

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DDB9000's avatar

Not exactly. While he had been living in Texas while working for Haliburton, he still had a residence in Wyoming. So a few months before the election Cheney put his home in Dallas up for sale and changed his drivers' license and voter registration back to Wyoming.

While it was certainly very hinkey, it did go by the letter of the law that as VP he was a legal resident of WY, and Bush was a resident of TX.

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Revenant's avatar

What you say is quite true, but can you even imagine the endless fuss that would have resulted if it was a Democrat who played the angles like that?

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Just_Jim's avatar

The only reason I “trust “ Don Jr. to tie his shoes is the comedy value of when he falls on his face because he tied his shoes together.

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1st light's avatar

Angela Paxton can not vote, but she did cast the evil eye on senators as they verbally voted against her husband.

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UVB-76's avatar

Salty bitch watches spouse circling the drain.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

She gets to sit there and listen to them present evidence of her husband's extramarital affair. Yeah, that's what I want on my jury.

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Emil Muz's avatar

If I was one of the impeachment managers, I'd stare her down as I detailed every single naughty detail. "The Good Wife" was a TV show, not anything close to reality.

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JamesSmith's avatar

it's getting to the point where anybody that isn't bat shit insane right wing is defined as a RINO

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TalentNotAutotune's avatar

"Austin Swamp"?!? W the actual F?!?!?!?

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Goin Green's avatar

They all talk like this now... even at 5 person town halls where everyone in the one horse town is a fucking republican... it's the right wing cult plague...

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Goin Green's avatar

Fuck Ted Cruz!

Never off topic.

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UVB-76's avatar

On topic.

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TalentNotAutotune's avatar

Never more on topic than today.

Oh, and - Go Astros! :)

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Goin Green's avatar

Rangers fan here... and couldn't be happier! For a while, I feared someone had broken the 7th seal! My sis lives in Katy, she and her he went to UH, so trust me... I know all about your fucking Stro's...

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TalentNotAutotune's avatar

Yikes. Going to the bully in the second inning is the *last* thing Bochy wanted. But Altuve! Four home runs in five at-bats! Wow!

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TalentNotAutotune's avatar

We're the Peoples' Champions, no doubt. My son predicted last week that the Rangers were in trouble because Bochy over-used his bullpen in July and now all the arms are tired. I think he's right. But what happened to Martin Perez? Last time I saw that guy come through Houston he looked like the second coming of Cy Young!

I recently saw an Astros jersey that had the number 0 on the back, and above it read:

"EFFSTOGIVE".

That's pretty much every Astros fan, LOL.

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Rotisserie Teal's avatar

Those trash can banging sumbitches!

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TalentNotAutotune's avatar

Fake news! LOL.

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Goin Green's avatar

When they tapped us with back-to-back back-to-backs the other night, my sis fired off a hot sports opinion... and I replied with:

https://youtu.be/05h_NFY7fLc?si=WuqCF2yAQw-P8urO

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TalentNotAutotune's avatar

Ouch! But honestly, when I saw the title my first thought was, "Is this a dig at Jimmy Buffet for having ruined every song over the last twenty years with those horrid steel drums?!?" :)

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