Meet Ivory Hecker, Who Just Goat-Boned Her News Career To Death For James O'Keefe. Somebody Give Her Job?

It's OK to laugh. God is.

Ivory Hecker is (was?) a news reporter at Houston's Fox affiliate, Fox 26. Ivory Hecker was supposed to say a report about "heat wave." Instead Ivory Hecker said she is gonna EXPOSE the CENSORSHIPS at FOX — no, not Fox News, Fox 26 — and that she "found" a very integrity-filled group of journalists to help her do this. That's right, she is a secret Project Veritas operative!

And she just ... said this. On TV. When she was supposed to say, "Hoo boy, what a heat wave!"

This video is what we in the actual blogging journalism business call "fucking amazing."

Ivory Hecker said, "Before we get to that story" — you know, the one about heat wave — "I want to let you the viewers know that Fox Corp. has been muzzling me to keep certain information from you the viewers. And from what I'm gathering, I am not the only reporter being subjected to this." She's not the only one! Fox Corp. is muzzling her, an employee of a local Fox affiliate!

Has she been banned from saying certain hard truths about the news? WAIT WAIT DON'T TELL US, are they infringing upon Ivory Hecker's constitutional Jesus right to say China used Jewish space lasers to put illegal bamboo shoots in all the ballots to steal the election from Donald Trump, during her news reports about "heat wave"?

We guess we'll just have to wait and see!

She continued, "I am going to be releasing some recordings about what goes on behind the scenes at Fox, because it applies to you the viewers." And this is a Project Veritas production, somehow!

She has been suspended from her job. She is suspended RIGHT NOW, as in GO HOME, IDIOT, AND DON'T SAY ANY WEATHER FORECASTS OR SPORTS SCORES ON YOUR WAY OUT.

In a phone call recording provided to Project Veritas, Fox 26 assistant news director Lee Meier informed Hecker that she was suspended "effective immediately" and the situation was "pending further review." Furthermore, Meier asked Hecker "not to come to the station" and that they would remain in touch.

As Crooks & Liars notes, some of the world's stupidest are reacting exactly the way you'd expect the world's stupidest to react. Like John Cardillo from Newsmax, which of course stands to benefit if Fox is SEX-POSED!

Sounds cool!

Wonkette will update this post when James O'Keefe solves the Hardy Boys Mystery Of The Dildo Lube Boat releases his surely Pulitzer-worthy scoop, haha just kidding, James O'Keefe has never had a Pulitzer-worthy scoop and he never will. But they say they're making their dump tonight, and when we say "making their dump," we phrase it that way to contextualize it within the rest of James O'Keefe's entire life and reputation. 

In summary and in conclusion, life tip for Ivory Hecker: If you are going to be a superspy, the first rule of superspying is DON'T SAY YOU'RE A SUPERSPY ON LIVE TELEVISION. We understand that Project Veritas might not have the skills or experience in this area to advise you otherwise.

Also good luck with your job hunt and WARMEST REGARDS .

Love, Wonkette

OPEN THREAD.

[ Crooks & Liars / Daily Beast ]

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