16 Comments

Florida and Alabama, <i>step up your game.</i>

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Sweet Austin, don't know how it got all mixed up with the rest of Texas . . .

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They also refuse to issue license plates for Subaru Outbacks.

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Texas is just trying to be patriotic. The more laws of other states you refuse to recognize, the more American you are.

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Only if those beliefs are sincerely held.

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<em>Thelma Dickerson: Wait. What? You want to go to Mexico from Oklahoma and you don't want to go through Texas?

Louise: You know how I feel about Texas... We're not going that way.

Thelma Dickerson: I know, Louise, but we're running for our lives! Don't you think you could make an exception just this once? I mean, look at the map. The only thing between Oklahoma and Mexico is Texas!</em>

... That was 1991. Texas just doesn't want to make that mistake again.

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Everything's bigger in Texas. Even limited government.

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They don't call themselves The One Star State™ for nothing.

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She can't use her married name. But she can go have her name changed.

So if she goes and has her name changed to her married name, will that sufice? And if so, why can't the DPS just do it that way instead of living up to every stereotype of what the DMV is like?

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Texas is for leavers.

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Not only are Subaru Outbacks allowed but I await the day that I can purchase a Tesla pickup truck to haul hay to my cows and chickens to the farmer market. My chickens lay straight and gay eggs. The gay eggs have this awesome rainbow on them.

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Sorry about that newcomer. Here's another helpful hint: be sure to review the content of all of your son's school books.

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It's not called "The One-Star State" for nothing.

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Very large <a href="http:\/\/bloximages.chicago2.vip.tow...\/frontiersman.com\/content\/tncms\/assets\/v3\/editorial\/1\/ee\/1eec8efb-d567-5b4f-93ab-28327d9d5d7b\/4ee0d14483751.image.jpg" target="_blank">piles of natural fertilizer</a> would do nicely.

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