Thank You, Gen Z!

The kids are more than okay. The kids are fucking amazing.

On Tuesday, as we were all hiding under our desks bracing for that promised red wave, voters under 30 were calmly filling in those little ovals down at the fire station and the local elementary school. They stood in line for hours, they got educated on the issues, and they cast their ballots overwhelmingly for Democrats. Exit polling by CNN and NBC has roughly two-thirds of voters under 30 voting blue — the most Democratic age cohort by far.

Call them Gen Z plus younger Millennials, call them your kids, call them new voters, just call them and say thank you for saving our asses. Or, actually, don't call them — they hate to talk on the phone. But send them a text and tell them you see and appreciate what they did on Tuesday.

Because those kids kicked Kevin McCarthy in the dick, depriving him of a mandate, even if he winds up with a single-digit majority in the House. And when Nevada Senator Catherine Cortez Masto pulls ahead of that weenus Adam Laxalt this afternoon, ensuring that we hold the Senate no matter what happens in the Georgia runoff, it'll be thanks to them. In fact, without the kids, you're probably looking at a Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, with a comfortable two- or three-seat margin, despite Donald Trump saddling the GOP with the absolute shittiest candidates ever.

“NEW: footage from the scene at University of Michigan right now and it’s stunning. This is the line of students waiting to register and vote. Over 200 young people. 2+ hour-long wait. No poll could’ve predicted this energy. Ignore the polls and VOTE!”

— Victor Shi (@Victor Shi) 1667933438 

Democrats cleaned up in Michigan Tuesday thanks to those young voters. Because the kids are AMAZING, and I say this not just as the parent of three wonderful Gen Z kids, but as a person who can do math. According to NBC, voters 18 to 29 prefer Democrats by a margin of 28, making them the only generation where a majority rejects the GOP. Which is a thing that can happen when your party spends all its time fighting a living wage and screeching because the green M&M doesn't give you a boner anymore. And unlike the Boomers, the kids are a growth industry.

But, hell, don't take our word for it. Enjoy a little weeping and wailing from our frenemies on the Right.

“Cruz: Why did the Democrats do better than expected? Because for two years they have governed as liberals. They’ve governed as whacked out lefty nut jobs. You know what that did? That excited their base. That excited a bunch of young voters..”

— Acyn (@Acyn) 1668048337 

"Here's a lesson to take from last night," Senator Ted Cruz shouted to Sean Hannity. "Why did the Democrats do better than expected? Because for two years, they've governed as liberals. They've governed as whacked out, lefty nutjobs. And you know what that did? It excited their base, it excited a bunch of young voters that came out in massive numbers, because when you actually stand for something, your base gets excited."

LOL, we wish the Biden administration had governed as "whacked out, lefty nutjobs." They should only have nuked the filibuster, added four Supreme Court justices, and cut all subsidies for fossil fuels. But, yeah, we do owe a lot to the kids.

Of course Ted Cruz, with his trademark political instincts, infers from this not that the GOP should try to craft policies to appeal to young people, but that the GOP should double down on the Dr. Suess shit to motivate its own base: "When we have a majority next year, we damn well better act like it and use it."

Meanwhile Laura Ingraham may be a degenerate sociopath, but she's not an idiot. 

“Ingraham: we're going to have to win and we have to win over voters, outside of our traditional base. That means young people too.”

— Acyn (@Acyn) 1668050459 

"Going into 2024, the Republicans are going to be looking for candidates who are focused on winning, not just making a point or settling a score," said the woman who has given Trump and his minions free rein to trash anyone who crossed the Dear Leader and recently tweeted her support for Blake Masters and Tudor Dixon, whom she called "mainstream populist conservatives" who are "young, smart and pro-America First."

"To really change the country, we're going to have to win, and we're going to have to win over voters outside our traditional base. That means young people, too," she continued last night, adding that "The populist movement is about ideas, it is not about any one person. If the voters conclude that you're putting your own ego or your own grudges ahead of the good of the country, they're going to look elsewhere. Period."

She's so close to getting it! She groks that Trump is an albatross around the GOP's neck — although she can't quite bring herself to say the words out loud — but she can't see that the "populism" the GOP is peddling is rat poison to anyone under 30. Like Cruz, she's gonna go right back to scaring the shit out of grandma about migrant caravans and expect different results next time.

But you know who can see the future? The kids at groups like Voters of Tomorrow who are getting young voters to the polls. Give them money! And acknowledge that the kids are now the party base, along with Black voters. So we need to make their priorities a priority for the party. Because this was a really high youth turnout election, and still only 27 percent of them showed up. The Boomers already vote at double that rate, and the GOP still can't win, Ted . How's about we try to get the youth vote up to 35 percent, and see if we can't fix some of this damage Republicans have inflicted on this country.

So, thanks, kids. You saved our asses and you earned your seat at the table. It's time for the Democratic Party to return the favor.

[ Teen Vogue / Tufts ]

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