The 14 Best Hotels In Toronto! Tabs, Fri., March 29, 2024

Oh? Why do I ask??? Morning news roundup!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Trump’s stupid Bible and his stupid Jesus-less Christianity are perfect for America’s Christ-less Christians, and a godless Christianity devoid of caring for the stranger and the poor is exactly what they’ve been waiting for. He’s the messiah AND a very naughty boy! (Amanda Marcotte at Salon)

Ashli Babbitt, the Horst Wessel of January 6 (deep cut, Amanda). (Salon)

Trump’s pathetic stonks. (Timothy Noah at The New Republic)

Nassau County, Long Island, what the fuck now?

Sports leagues and teams seeking permits to play or practice in county-run parks must disclose whether they have or allow transgender women or girls. Any organization that allows them to play will be denied a permit, though men’s leagues and teams aren’t affected.

Yeah, the roller derby league says fuuuuuuck nooooo. (NBC News)

Sad that it seems like Josh Hawley’s wife Erin Hawley, who just argued her shitty, sloppy lawsuit against mifepristone before the Supreme Court, seems to have done a shitty, sloppy job. (Chris Geidner at Law Dork)

Matt Maddock, who’s so gross he was thrown out of the Michigan Republican caucus by Michigan Republicans, is pretty sure the Gonzaga men’s basketball team was IMMIGRANT VADERS. Also his wife sucks too. (Joe. My. God.)

Hey remember when states used to pay for “college”? Well apparently Minnesota just did that, with “historic” university investment, per Inside Higher Ed. Oh yeah, here’s loveliness:

The largest and most impactful focus of that expenditure is a new financial aid initiative, North Star Promise, under which students from families making less than $80,000 a year will receive free tuition to any public college in the state they’re admitted to. The program takes effect in the fall, but students will begin receiving financial aid offers reflecting the waiver over the next few months. About 15,000 students are likely to qualify, according to estimates from the Minnesota Office of Higher Education.

And guess what, kids are going to college again in Minnesota, who could have predicted.

Meanwhile, it was polite of Tressie McMillan Cottom to only talk about the “moral panic” about “‘woke’ campuses” in terms of legislation, and not in terms of, say, The New York Times, for whom she was writing. (Gift link NYT)

Snipy, or Lisa Needham now, goes long on Judge Charles Breyer just murdering poor Elno’s SLAPP suit against the Center for Countering Digital Hate. (Public Notice)

Twenty-five years in the clink for poor Sam Bankman-Fried, who just wanted to do his crypto fraud in peace, and will appeal based on his mental health struggles and his personal generosity (with frauded money). (NBC News)

Hey you guys wanna read 128 pages of decision ruling Trump wackjob lawyer John Eastman should be disbarred? I knew you did. (Ruling)

NERDS! Global warming stole Obama’s time machine! (Nature) If you would like it explained in English, Splinter (Splinter, the former Gawker, is back) did that for you. (Splinter)

The best hotels in Toronto! Shy wants to go to Medieval Times for his birthday in May. STOP LAUGHING! HE IS BIG MAN KING KING MAN! 1 Hotel (not available for us and our stupid children on our dates) and the Broadview look beyoootiful, oh man. Torontonians, what do you think of Hotel X, and what are fun neighborhoods?? (Conde Nast Traveler)

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