The 7 Deadliest Palm Beach Socialites With Murder In Their Hearts! Tabs, Wed., May 8, 2024

Morning news roundup!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Trump wants a mistrial because nobody could hear Stormy Daniels over all the vomiting. Well I certainly cannot wait to read the real reporting on the Stormy Trump hush money trial testimony: Whenever Marcie’s finished with hers! (AP)

Thank goodness Judge Aileen Cannon is on the stolen classified documents case! (She’s postponed it, like the Meatloaf song, till the end of time.) (Mediaite)

Goddamn, ProPublica is just the best. Public service Pulitzer for its 142-part series “Clarence Thomas’s Big Nazi-Admiring Billionaire Yacht Adventure And Then More Yachts And Sam Alito Too.” (ProPublica)

Oh dear, Trump is very bad for the Republican National Committee, oh dear, our Liz is not having the time of her life writing up all the latest mishigas whatsoever. (Law and Chaos Pod)

Josh Marshall thinks Doug Burgum, of the North Dakota Burgums, should be waiting by the phone for Trump’s call. I think he’s forgotten about a little someone named Candace Owens. (Gift link Talking Points Memo)

Garrett Bucks, Kristi Noem Literary Completist, hates when he wants to be vice president so bad that he has to go back and write another book with the spoken word animal crush videos that people already advised him not to put in the first time! (The White Pages)

Louis DeJoy — “why do I know the name of the postmaster general in 2020???” — fucking up your mail, still, again, why exactly are the rurals okay with all this? (More Perfect Union)

Secretary Mayor Pete is holding a DOT and CFPB roundtable tomorrow, Thursday, “with industry representatives, labor leaders, and consumer advocates about competition issues and challenges that consumers are experiencing with airline and credit card rewards programs.” What does that mean? I don’t know!!! But the good Sara Nelson, the flight attendant organizer one, will be panelling. I do know that in the credit card and churning (opening lots of credit cards for signup bonuses) subreddits, people are on a hair trigger to write to the CFPB when a bank or credit card company doesn’t give a bonus it promised, and such as, and I love Elizabeth Warren even more now. (Also, one guy was complaining that he is rich but never gets approved for credit cards, and like 100 people in a row reminded him that Donald Trump is also rich, but somehow manages to never pays his bills. It was so fun.) (CFPB)

Do you guys have Apple TV? Don’t, it’s not worth it. BUT! It is worth it for *one month* and then cancel it again after you have watched all the episodes of “Palm Royale,” which is Kristen Wiig and Carol Burnett and Laura Dern and Cindy Crawford’s daughter (you can’t miss her, you will say “THAT HAS GOT TO BE CINDY CRAWFORD’S DAUGHTER” and you will look it up and guess what!) and CJ Cregg and Ricky Martin and fucking Natalie from “The Facts of Life” and it is so great and SUSPENSEFUL and MY GOODNESS! All the Emmys for the costume lady! All the Emmys for everyone!

Here’s House Beautiful on the set design. Please join me in the sea green bar, which I live in and I own.

TORONTO! Come and join us SUNDAY, MAY 19, from 3 to 6 p.m., at the Fairmont Royal York’s LIBRARY BAR! I’m buyin’! By which I mean the Wonks are buying!

SNACKS: Our partner Martie has hella cheap good snacks on overstock and YOU are keeping them out of the landfill. If you purchase through our link, we get a honkin’ commission. This was an ad!

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