The Air-Fryer Is A Hoax! Tabs, Wed., April 10, 2024

Morning news roundup!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Today is crazy news shit day. Let’s get to it.

First up, Arizona supreme court looked at a law from 1864 and said all abortions are now illegal in the state, except in the case that the mother’s life is immediately at risk. (Ask Texas, that never works.) (Abortion, Every Day)

Trump thinks voters will buy his abortion bullshits. (Talking Points Memo) Lindsey certainly isn’t, and now oh no they are in a tiff. (The Bulwark)

Politico didn’t just win the morning, it read the future. Where courts are getting packed, hint it is Arizona in 2016. (Politico)

Here’s the Howell Code, on which the AZ supreme court based its originalist decision. (AZ Library) Or do yourself a favor and read this (extremely short!) Bluesky originalist thread instead.

News you can use! Is your state’s supreme court on the line this year? Ask Bolts mag!

I sent this to Robyn before just to ruin her whole day, but then five more things happened and who knows if she will even get to this one, probably maybe! Texas Lt. Gov. AG Ken Paxton is suing Houston to stop the city from doing its little tiny baby $500-a-month UBI experiment. How the fuck is it any business of his? lOcAL cOnTrOL! (Houston Chronicle)

The states that are stepping up to take on child poverty. Is it all of them? It’s all of them, right? It is not all of them. (The New Republic)

Crumbleys going to prison for 10 years. See you, Crumbleys! (AP)

From Up in the Clouds in my inbox, a tribute to the best kind of priest, the kind who truly lived for the downtrodden and the poor and the gay and the war-torn, a living (and now dying) antidote to the men and women of fake religions of oppression and spiritual and physical beatdowns. Peace be with you, Bishop Thomas Gumbleton of Detroit (and also with you). (Freep)

“Essential to her basic humanity.” Thank you Judge Mark Walker, and thank you Erin in the Morning for the nice time news. (Erin in the Morning)

You got HOAXED! By what? YOUR AIR-FRYER! (QZ)

OK, a lot of my off-hours (I have no off-hours) attention span lately has gone to credit card points (I AM SORRY, OKAY) and now … randomly opening bank accounts? This was spurred after I realized we had put all our house-selling money (I heard it’s four million) into a zero percent savings account for a year, and decided I needed to fix that, or have you not heard interest rates are high right now. And now I got … THE BUG. This guy made five grand in opening bank accounts in 2020. I should go outside, I need better hobbies. (Frequent Miler)

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