597 Comments
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eddi-SABH's avatar

The Tesla Cybertruck. The Edsel of the 21st Century. But actually a crummy car as well as overhyped.

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Marla's avatar

Wankpanzer.

Thank me later.

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eddi-SABH's avatar

🤭 perfect.

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Sgt JMK's avatar

BEST USE OF CANNED CLAMS EVER!!

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NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

My bestie recently bought a used Tesla, against the dictates of his soul but he wanted an electric car and it was available. We bought him a bumper sticker that says “Tesla drivers against Musk,” but before we could send it to him he had caved to his damn integrity and decided to sell it.

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Jjamie's avatar

Would love to see Resla and Starlink crash (in all the ways possible).

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Babe Paley's avatar

Yesterday I saw a lady getting out of one of the Muskmobiles at the store--she had little twins with her. I just stared at her, because she and her littles were clearly Asian and I wanted to shout, "that piece of crap truck thing isn't going to save you!"

But she was with kids.

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Mollusks Maul Muskmobile! Details at 11:00

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Resource NW's avatar

Some canned clam cans opened with a pull tab.

Jes sayin'.

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

I have a terrible confession.

I have used that brand of clams.

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Oh the humanity!

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weejee's avatar

Thanks Martini. Time to keep clam.

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Oh, I like it!

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tehbaddr's avatar

Is it fair to call a burning Wank Panzera a CarBQ?

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Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

Fair, and also not too soon.

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Andre's avatar

Also, not soon enough

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JoannaJeannineJanet's avatar

... not too soon or too often.

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Shocktreatment's avatar

𝘚𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘪carBQ?

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lmurr's avatar

You win!

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

It would be criminal NOT to!

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tehbaddr's avatar

"Wild and Sassy"

I thought at first it read "Wild and Snarky"!

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Sgt JMK's avatar

Either one works.

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Antifa Commander's avatar

Late, but: when I die, I hope I scream “AIEEEEEEE!” It’s the best scream of all.

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

LOL, do you know what comic that's from?

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Menotsure's avatar

Not a clue.

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Menotsure's avatar

I checked. It's from "Men's Adventures" and was written by Stan Lee and drawn by Fred Kida. The goofy three page story was called "The Secret of the Flying Saucer."

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eddi-SABH's avatar

The idea of UFOs as organisms has been bandied about. I think this predates any nonfiction(stet sic) publication though.

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Eileen's avatar

Stan Lee Was My God.

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eddi-SABH's avatar

And Jack Kirby was his profit. 😏

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GH Swell's avatar

This is what ted cruz somnambulates about.

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Stroke1's avatar

Well played, Tini.

Although I would have let it burn some more.

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The Wanderer's avatar

Morning, Martini!

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Hey Wanderer!

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eddi-SABH's avatar

Have the science wonks at least sorted out if tigers are tawny with black stripes or black with tawny stripes. It took ages to sort out zebras: black with white stripes. https://www.britannica.com/story/are-zebras-white-with-black-stripes-or-black-with-white-stripes

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Hanna's avatar

Life After Hate https://www.lifeafterhate.org/

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Cincinnatus's avatar

HuffPost: Kristi Noem Asking IRS To Help With Immigration Crackdown: Reports

"A new memo from Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem asks the IRS to deploy its agents to help with the Trump administration's mass deportation efforts, according to The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal and Bloomberg News.

“It is D.H.S.’s understanding that the Department of the Treasury has qualified law enforcement personnel available to assist with immigration enforcement, especially in light of recent increases to the Internal Revenue Service’s work force and budget,” Noem's memo reportedly says.

The IRS employs around 2,000 law enforcement officers trained to investigate tax violations and other financial crimes. Shortly after taking office, Trump boasted that he "immediately halted the hiring of any new IRS agents" on his first day in the White House."

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Marla's avatar

What did the IRS do to deserve the attention of Deporter Barbie?

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Atrele Kasha's avatar

"He signed an executive order Friday to prioritize resettling white South African “refugees” suffering from “government-sponsored race-based discrimination” in the US."

Hold the fuck up *what*? I do realize that they always meant "our kind of refugees", but SERIOUSLY, what? Post-apartheid "refugees"? Seriously Elon? Fucking *SERIOUSLY*.

Does anyone remember who wrote that one sci-fi story that had time-travelling white afrikaners arm the Confederates during the Civil War so they'd have an ally against ending apartheid?

Does anyone else think that Elon would be the head of that goddamn expedition?

Because he totally damn well would.

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eddi-SABH's avatar

He may just lead a MAGA army to reimpose apartheid. Like the First Triumvirate of Julius Caesar, Pompey the Great, and Marcus Licinius Crassus, Elon feels the need to show he can be even stupider than DonDon and JD. And like Crassus he decides a redneck war is good optics. Crassus never came back. Neither did most of his army. We can only hope history repeats.

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theCryptofishist's avatar

Harry Turtledove, I think.

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eddi-SABH's avatar

"Guns Of The South"

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Atrele Kasha's avatar

Yeah, that seems about right. Thank you very much.

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theCryptofishist's avatar

You're welcome. It's a good read, if over sympathetic to REL.

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eddi-SABH's avatar

Lee's book history was still in the 'Noble Foe" level back then.

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theCryptofishist's avatar

Yeah, we were young and naive.

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Always Be Ithacating's avatar

I admit I sometimes pause to have a nice wallow in my loathing for some of these Trump people.

Now I can just reread that New York Magazine archive piece, "The Cruel Kids’ Table" and get a full day's worth of hatin' over with in a New York minute!

By the way, isn't a room that smells like corn a sign of Pseudomonas or some other bacterial or fungal infection?

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eddi-SABH's avatar

Unwashed feet.

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Howlin Wolfe's avatar

I prefer Mississippi John Hurt’s “Candy Man.”

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PRW's avatar

Improved earworm for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AmMg2mSy0Y

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Rags's avatar

I read that it cost $25 mil for TFG to watch half a football game and then slink out of town

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eddi-SABH's avatar

He predicted a Chiefs win. When the Eagles refused to throw the game he lost his temper and any further interest in the NFL.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

One thing about Republicans and public money. If it doesn't come directly out of their pocket, they don't recognize it as real money.

For all Chump cares, that trip cost $25 mil in Monopoly money.

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Sister Artemis's avatar

I must say:

To scroll the Wonkette home page, just taking in the headlines, the images, the occasional puppy ... it does my heart good. May the snark (and appreciation of puppies) never end!

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Rags's avatar

Read that it cost about $25 mill for TFG to watch half a football game then slink out of town

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Manic Pixel Dream Girl's avatar

Friends don’t let friends vote Republican. Of course, they’re all about stealing elections now anyway so … 🤷🏻‍♀️

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NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

“If a judge tried to tell a general how to conduct a military operation, that would be illegal…”

Umm no. Generals are granted authority within the rules, regulations and laws which they are commissioned under, and ultimately to the Constitution. If said general chose to prosecute a military operation contrary to those directives, yes he or she could be prosecuted. It might be a military court, which does have actual judges, or senior officers up to the President have discretion to remand the offender to civilian court. It’s rare but it happens, most commonly overseas when someone violates both US and Host Nation laws. Of course not under the Cheeto-in-Chief…

In conclusion, JD is a moron who can fuck off into the Sun. Thank you.

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Marla's avatar

Yale Law needs to ask for its degree back. Clearly this clown slept through Con Law and the bit about the separation of powers/checks and balances lectures.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I think we're being way too hard on Hillbilly. He's just tweeting what he's told to tweet.

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NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

You know, when his boss is the baseline, he’s fucking Einstein.

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eddi-SABH's avatar

That's really a low bar. One's as dumb as dirt. The other is dumber than ditch water.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

The big question on everyone's mind? When they come for the Second Lady and the kids, is he going to complain?

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NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

Der no. His mouth will be too full to complain.

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cynmac's avatar

I posted this to the late night thread but wanted to repeat it here for the morning crew.

If you didn't watch the Super Bowl, that's okay. But you should really watch the half-time show. Kendrick Lamar put on quite a show and there was plenty of protest too. The comments on Blue Sky are comparing it favorably to Prince's consummate performance in 2007. Link below. Sorry for the ads, but that's youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDorKy-13ak

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