The Daily Show: Number One in Fake News
It's nice that The Daily Show won the Emmy for best music, variety and comedy show. We hear 60 Minutes is up for it next year. Seriously: Congratulations. It was heartwarming to see the gigantic team of Daily Show writers get up on stage to accept the award -- it sort of reminded us of the Kerry campaign. Speaking of which, even better than what the Emmys gave the Daily Show is what the Daily Show gave the Emmys: "Continental Skiff Boat Oarsmen for Veracity." Transcript continues after the jump.
V.O: George Washington sayeth he be honest.
WASHINGTON: I cannot tell a lie!
V.O.: But hear ye from those who knoweth him best.
VETERAN: I have served with George Washington.
I hath served with George Washington.
George Washington be not forthright about his war record.
Washington cares not a wit for his fellow man.
I know. My slave told me.
V.O.: And what of the legend crossing the Delaware?
VETERAN: He was not on the boat for that fateful night George Washington slept here.
This be not even the Delaware. Twas done at a tore trait studio in Weehawken.
VETERAN: I still notice the contours of Washington's face. We thinks they appear a trifle Hessian.
Look at him standing up in a boat. If he stands up in a boat, it's just bad boatsmanship.
Think ye know George Washington, think ye again.
My evidence be true.
V.O.: This paid for by continental campaign.