The Once And Future MAGA King
The Once And Future MAGA King
It's your Sunday show rundown!
Last week, we bid farewell to “Both Sides” Chuck Todd on NBC’s “Meet The Press.” We have never spared Chuck(lefuck) Todd from being criticized for his lack of pushback while (very rarely) praising him for the few times he accidentally did a journalism. But with his exit, we were cautiously optimistic that the new iteration would be better with new host Kristen Welker.
The “new” version of “Meet The Press” premiered with a long sit-down interview with former Sharper Image steak salesman and former president, Donald John Barron Trump. While the full interview is more than an hour long, we are going to go with the version that was aired and most likely seen by pundits, politicians, and your very unbreakable Wonkette writers.
The sinking feeling we were not going to see “truth to power” spoken to a man who committed multiple crimes, including fomenting an insurrection, began almost immediately when the episode intro showed us what we assume producers thought was a good question.
WELKER: When you go to bed at night, do you worry about going to jail?
What’s next? Are we going to ask what his favorite curse word is or the “if Heaven exists …” question?
But buried beneath the inane questions and lawn walks to make it seem like an old Barbara Walters “10 Most Fascinating People” interview, there were bits of unintentional news. For example, when asked about his online posts about “retribution,” Trump confirmed everything people warn about is true.
TRUMP: When I talk about retribution, I'm talking about fairness. We have to treat people fairly. These people on January 6 […]
WELKER: Are you going to pardon those people […] who’ve been convicted –
TRUMP: Well, I’m going to look at them, and I certainly might if I think it’s appropriate. No, it’s a very, very sad thing. […]
Welker asked a more pointed question that Trump, using his decades-honed mobster double-speak, answered with ambiguous confirmation.
WELKER: […] Are you looking to appoint an attorney general who will prosecute the people you tell them to prosecute?
TRUMP: I'm looking to appoint an attorney general who’s going to be tough on crime and fair. Very simple.
The answer is YES, Kristen Welker. Because to Trump, being “tough” is being inhumanely cruel to people he dislikes and “fair” is protecting his interests while shielding his empowered white nationalist allies. The people he thinks are being so unfairly targeted because of January 6 are insurrectionists and, some like Stewart Rhodes or Enrique Torrio, led violent mobs in an effort to steal an election for him.
Trump wasn’t done self-incriminating himself when Welker lobbed a softball question, and he decided to give Special Counsel Jack Smith and Fulton County DA Fani Willis a present.
WELKER: Just to be clear, were you listening to your lawyers’ advice, or were you listening to your own instincts?
TRUMP: I was listening to different people. And when I added it all up, the election was rigged. There are books that are written —
WELKER: Were you calling the shots though?
TRUMP: […] Excuse me. Mollie Hemingway, who's highly respected and great, she wrote a book, a bestselling book called Rigged.
WELKER: Were you calling the shots, though, Mr. President, ultimately?
TRUMP: As to whether or not I believed it was rigged? Oh, sure.
WELKER: Okay.
TRUMP: It was my decision. But I listened to some people. Some people said that. Like, guys like Bill Barr, who was a stiff, but he wasn't there at the time. But he didn’t do his job because he was afraid. You know what he was afraid of? He was afraid of being impeached. He was petrified to be impeached. And he — how do you not get impeached? Don't do anything.
Oops! That kinda blows a hole through Trump’s legal defenses that he was listening to bad legal advice (Smith) or that he didn’t know he was committing crimes while making him say he was “The Decider” on the top of the rotten RICO cabal (Willis). At this point, signing on to be Trump’s attorneys has to be some sort of humiliation fetish or kink.
Trump, like a busted sewage line, sprayed even more massive amounts of shit during this interview. So, like a Kopi Luwak coffee farmer, here are few bits we picked out:
On why he didn't send help to break up the January 6 riot:
TRUMP: I assumed that [Pelosi] took care of it […]
On abortion:
TRUMP: […] I said, with Hillary Clinton when we had the debate, I made a statement, “Rip the baby out of the womb in the ninth month, you’re allowed to do that, and you shouldn't be allowed to do that.”
WELKER: Again, no one is arguing for that —
TRUMP: Again, listen, look —
WELKER: That's not a part of anyone’s argument, Mr. President.
TRUMP: Look, the Democrats are able to kill the baby after birth.
Welker never debunks the abortion fearmongering lies of “after-birth abortions” nor pushed back on this in person. Instead, Welker edited in an addendum in the broadcast that kinda conceded the point of Trump’s lies.
WELKER: One important fact we do want to highlight: abortions later in pregnancy are exceedingly rare.
Yes, so rare is the legal “after-birth abortion” that it’s practically fiction. Unless you live in George R.R. Martin’s Westeros.
On his Republican primary candidate opponents:
TRUMP: I mean, I'm up on these people by 60 points and 59 points. And, I don’t mean I’m at 59, I'm leading them by 59. You almost say, like, “Why are they campaigning?” Asa Hutchinson, he’s at zero. Christie’s at two. Other ones are at one. DeSanctimonious is at nine. I just see a poll come — I mean, I’m leading him by 60 points.
Trump is in a disturbing good position to clinch the nomination, and it’s high time we get ready to stop him from seizing power again.
Because the mainstream news, clearly, won’t save us.
Have a week.
America will NOT return him to office. I’m obviously no authority on it, but it won’t happen. Even if Biden is a year older and they don’t like Kamala (which is still confusing), voters who aren’t MAGA true believers won’t go through that again. There were millions of voters in 2016 who simply wanted a change, a real curveball that could have real impact on their lives. It didn’t happen, and instead corruption was far worse, nobody was really operating as potus those 4 years (trump famously stayed in his bedroom until 11:00 a.m., barely read anything and golfed more than any other potus), and Trump did nothing to actually help his base. Trump at his zenith of political power LOST as the incumbent by over 7 Million votes. Then, the insurrection, sexual assault verdict and multiple indictments. It. Ain’t. Happenin.
I prefer "God Emperor of MAGAkind" as a title for him, suits him better than "MAGA King". All he's missing is golden armor and a flaming sword.