'Ronald Reagan Impose Your Beliefs On A Woman’s Womb Act’ Will Never Be

Do you remember the surreal "Susan B. Anthony and Frederick Douglass Prenatal Nondiscrimination Act of 2011," the bill written in high-pitched banshee shrieks and designed to stem a fictional tide of sex- and race-based abortions? Remember how no one in real life -- NO ONE -- could figure out how the hell, exactly, this law could possibly be enforced, or really why it should exist at all, in any form, on any planet, at any point in geologic time? Well, everyone is still on the same page on those two points. Still stupid, still pointless, situation unchanged. But the bill's supporters were forced to change its name, due to "objections by [House Judiciary Committee] Democrats." The drama! The intrigue! THE ABORTIONS!

Congratulations, Rep. Hank Johnson! (NOT pictured, that's goosey-face bill sponsor Trent Franks above.) Johnson is the unofficial Congressman of the Week, for proposing not one but two completely excellent new names for this ABORTION of an attempt at law-making. Sadly, "The Ronald Reagan Impose Your Beliefs on a Woman's Womb Act" and "The Tea Party Determines What Rights a Woman Has Act" did not exactly resonate with the unskilled onanists responsible for the bill ultimately passing 20-13. Oh, well, thanks for the yuks anyhow, Congressman! [ CNS News ]