Greetings, Comrades! Welcome back to the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly compendium of charlatans and rapscallions just waiting to sell you health, wealth, and salvation if only you'll give them your money. We've got a full pan of bullshit to sift through if we're going to find that gold nugget of hilarity, so let's waste no time and get right down to it.
I went to a psychic once - ONCE!. She was actually sort of famous and had an office in downtown Chicago and everything. Kindly, old, grandmotherly type lady. She offered to record our session. She told me that the girl of my dreams would soon come into my life. When I very awkwardly told her I wasn't much into girls on account of being a homo, she said "Oh I know that, I just didn't think you would want me to say it on your tape."
The placebo effect is real, and can be therapeutic, and frankly I wish it worked better on me, 'cause then I could spend less on acetaminophen and just use compressed cornstarch pills.
I myself like pneumatic snarks!
"You sleazy weasel!"
I went to a psychic once - ONCE!. She was actually sort of famous and had an office in downtown Chicago and everything. Kindly, old, grandmotherly type lady. She offered to record our session. She told me that the girl of my dreams would soon come into my life. When I very awkwardly told her I wasn't much into girls on account of being a homo, she said "Oh I know that, I just didn't think you would want me to say it on your tape."
Bunch of Bologna.
You saw the Cardinal?
"Three is the number of the pills, and the number of the pills shall be three"
Headlines you never see:
"Psychic wins lottery!"
It would be bad.
That was a good example of a force multiplier, but, in the end, they were not victorious.
Homeopathic studies continually show how far the placebo effect can go on a bunch of rubes. Not zero, but it sure approaches it.
Hmm. I did get measles in college the same semester The Love of my Life™ broke up with me, so, maybe something to that traumatic separation.
Nahh.
And you never went back because . . . . ?
"I never drink water. Fish fuck in it." - W. C. Fields
12 steps to de-gayify you? What we really need is 12 steps to de-Robertsonify everyone!
The placebo effect is real, and can be therapeutic, and frankly I wish it worked better on me, 'cause then I could spend less on acetaminophen and just use compressed cornstarch pills.
Will it do anything for the strings in my legs?....