The Sun Does Not Set On Hibernation

Would you look at that, the sun has decided to come out in D.C. in February, the most miserable and pointless of all months. Nothing good ever happens in February. Maybe it's out because now that CPAC is over there are less wingnuts in town so the Sun can resume doing elite activities like shining. Or because, hooray, Washington is DONE with the Recession as D.C.'s super-rich hectomillionaires are once again able to doodle on their iPads and run off to France with ease! Sun or not, maybe it's best to stay inside, forever. Now that there's nothing good to watch on Al Jazeera Live anymore, here are some fun indoor activities patriotic Americans can do other than sitting at their desks watching porn:

Theater:

• Oedipus El Rey: The Woolly Mammoth Theater is hosting Oedipus El Rey, a play set in a barrio in Los Angeles that's an intense, gritty adaptation of the Greek tragedy Oedipus . It's got all the good stereotypes about Mexicans -- drugs, prison, gangs, and violence, plus nudity. Brush up on your Spanglish. Tickets are $35 or $15 if you're 25 or under. [ Woolly Mammoth Theater ]

• The Chosen: If you need a break from Jews and the Middle East, here's a play about Jews in their other natural habitat: Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Tickets are $35-$60, or $15 is you're under 25 or under. The pay-what-you-can preview is Tuesday, March 8. [Arena Stage ]

Movies:

• Important TeeVee alert: The Oscars are very, very soon! Huzzah! When they announce this year's best pinkest-ass America-hating movie, will you have seen it? E Street Cinema is currently screening all of the Oscar Nominated Animated Short films as well as all of the Oscar Nominated Live Action Short films. AMC theaters are hosting a 24-hour marathon of all the films nominated for Best Picture, which sounds miserable, but at least, at the end, you'll know if the movie with the kids talking fast or the one with the cowboy or the one with the lesbians deserves this most highest honor! [E Street Cinema / AMC ]

Book Discussions:

• Jonathan Franzen: FREEDOM! Did you read Jonathan Franzen's new book? Oprah told you to! Even Obama read it so he could learn why all his upper class white constituents are always so angsty. On Friday, February 18, Franzen will be giving a lecture about his book at the National Cathedral. Tickets are $22 or $16 for students and seniors. [National Cathedral ]

• Amy Chua: Yes, if you spend your days locked in your cubicle, sitting at your desk watching porn, maybe it is unfortunate that your parent's didn't love you by hating you as was Amy Chua's parenting style. She will be discussing her bookBattle Hymn Of The Tiger Mother at Politics and Prose on February 18, at 7PM. Free. [ Politics and Prose ]