Things Paul Ryan Also Does Not Know
An incomplete list, due to limitations of space
Paul Ryan was asked today whether, like some top Republicans, he might have any nagging doubts about EPA administrator Scott Pruitt's ability to keep wrecking the environment. You know, anything at all that might lead him to think Pruitt should leave office, maybe a lot later this year, perhaps after the summer beach-oiling season. Here, enjoy his puzzled reply, in which he appears to channel Al Sleet, the Hippy-Dippy Weatherman, only without the funny parts:
Reporter: Are you confident in EPA Admin. Pruitt? Speaker Ryan: "Frankly I haven't paid that close attention to it… https://t.co/eIgLVGCIqS
— NBC News (@NBC News) 1528992376.0
Prew-witt, you say? Doesn't really ring a bell. You certainly can't expect the Speaker of the House to stay on top of every last little made-up "controversy" in the world, now can you?
We bet, if we try really hard, we could come up with some other things that Paul Ryan does not know. Especially since listicles look right nice with our new platform!
Paul Ryan does not know how to introduce a bill to stop ICE from separating families at the border, even though he opposes that sort of thing!
Paul Ryan does not know that normal frat boys do not stand around a keg dreaming of ending healthcare for poor people!
Paul Ryan has NO IDEA what a soup kitchen looks like when it is actually feeding homeless people!
Paul Ryan does not know what hungry children actually want for lunch (hint: It may be food!)
Paul Ryan ain't even know how "health insurance" works, but he'd suuure like to make sure fewer people have it!
Paul Ryan thought he knew who invented poverty, but he was wrong: Barack Obama did not invent poverty!
Paul Ryan does not know, and never will know, the love of an awesome purveyor of fine spices. This is not a euphemism.
Paul Ryan does not know that thoughts and prayers are really bad at stopping bullets from going right through people and killing them.
Paul Ryan does not know how to get Donald Trump's micropenis out of his ear. (No link, just everything about Trump and Ryan since mid-2015
The End! Oh, also, Paul Ryan is thoroughly unaware that the best, most comprehensively fact-checked listicles and dick joketicles can be found right here at Yr Wonkette, and that we love our readers very much for helping us pay the bills!
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It's usually attributed to English football player George Best, as in "I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered."
In 2012, Ryan, a practicing Catholic, was served a stinging letter signed by numerous theologians and Jesuit priests, who took him to task for his "misuse of Catholic teaching to defend [his] budget plan," stating:
In short, your budget appears to reflect the values of your favorite philosopher, Ayn Rand, rather than the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Her call to selfishness and her antagonism toward religion are antithetical to the Gospel values of compassion and love.
In the wake of this incident, he has since "rejected" the philosophy, stating it to be "an atheist philosophy," preferring the worldview of Thomas Aquinas. His rejection of Rand, however, has not stopped him from pushing a Congressional budget that favors the obscenely rich and powerful.
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