Things You're Doing Wrong With Puff Pastries! Tabs, Wed., Nov. 23, 2022

Is it sex stuff. MORNING NEWS!

Hello from Wonkette's Detroit HQ, where today I am going to bake some motherfucking pies! At the usual morning post time, we will start regaling you with all our recipes from Thanksgivings past and NO NEW ONES. Then, throughout the week and weekend, we will have a few sad and lonely and thrown-together posts for you to comment around. And if you're in Quebec City, don't forget to join Shy and me for our Wonkette party Sun., Nov. 27, at Sacrilege Bar de Quartier! I think I said three to six, who can even know or possibly look in that post that's frozen at the top of the homepage to confirm? NOT ME!

Coming to see us? NPR saysto WEAR YOUR MASK AND DON'T TRIDEMIC US! Please and thank you. Relevant! White House (belatedly, to me!) finally kicking off a GODDAMMIT GET YOUR BOOSTER push! (CNN) 

Now let's see what sad and lonely orphaned tabs I've still got open, begging for a scrap or you to buy their matches, to start your day!

More on the Colorado sheriffs who care more about the rights of your poor oppressed guns than your silly people who are only people. (The Trace) 

How stochastic terrorism uses disgust to incite violence. (Yes Tucker Carlson, we're talking about you.) — Scientific American 

Like these people. (Southern Poverty Law Center Hatewatch) 

Texas Lege declares all-out war on trans people, because Tucker and Libs of TikTok want them to. How bad is it? It's fuckin bad! — Slate 

Supreme Court says Trump has to fork his taxes over to the House Ways and Means Committee, which will be headed by Republicans in like six weeks. — Gift link Washington Post 

Five bucks says they make up for it by overturning the court of appeals' decision allowing holiday weekend early voting in Georgia. (Atlanta Journal Constitution) 

 CNN gets servicey, everything you need to know about student loans (which were just paused again, but not if you have FFELP loans, learn from my mistake the last time they paused it!) while President Joe Biden's debt forgiveness works its way to the Supreme Court.

I don't watch this show, which looks like the kind of people with whom I would not want to share a half hour, but I feel like I've heard of someone else committing that crime. Twelve years you say?

The Chrisleys were convicted in June of defrauding banks out of more than $30 million by providing fake financial statements making it look as if they were wealthier than they were. Prosecutors proved that the couple used the loans to buy expensive cars, take extravagant trips, and live a lifestyle they couldn't afford, while also hiding money from the IRS to avoid paying taxes.

You know, it took me like 12 seasons of Assholes on Boats I mean "Below Deck" before I started watching it. I might have to watch this fucking thing too, except I don't think I could deal with those faces. — Insider 

Oh so that's what the fuck Herschel Walker was talking about "Raphael Warnock paid himself to keep his kids." It can be so literally impossible to tell! — 19th News 

Evan bought some cookbooks! He is very excited and says these cookbook authors are cussy and wonderful and you will like them. Vogue talks to Reem Assil here. Wonkette cut Amazon link here!

Food52 on Cynthia Shanmugalingam’s new cookbook, Rambutan: Recipes from Sri Lanka (Wonkette cut Amazon link).

 NPR on Illyanna Maisonet's Puerto Rican cookbook, Diasporican: A Puerto Rican Cookbook ! Wonkette cut ... you get it.

Hey remember I told you I was making pies today? WELL I AM. But I'm also going to make some fig and pear and ricotta and rose jam tart puff pastries for lunch/snax tomorrow, and this is ... surprisingly helpful! How to do puff pastries, including the premade kind (like me). (Daily Meal) 

 Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons .

If you are thankful for Wonkette, and you're not already (and if you are able), we would like you to send us money! I got salaries to pay, and oh man it has been tight. I love you too.