This Friendly Republican Will Help Us All Get Drunk At The Democratic Convention
What is the best part of being in town at national political conventions? Seeing the speeches in person? Meeting an array of interesting activists? No, those are theworstparts -- the best part is getting wasted and flopping around and pissing in the middle of the street while political activity is occurring in nearby arenas. But because North Carolina's state-owned liquor stores are closed on Sundays and the Labor Day Monday preceding the Democratic National Convention, it's going to be hard to procure the tools of intoxication necessary to survive several days of pathetic grandstanding and megabank marketing. Help, help, sympathetic Republican boozebag!
The problem, as identified -- aside from the fact that people can't buy jugs of moonshine for TWO STRAIGHT DAYS before a political convention -- is that with ABC stores closed on Sunday and Monday, bars and restaurants will face inventory shortages heading into a week in which liver-destruction demand is expected to spike to historic highs. At least this one Republican understands that Democrats are pathetic, self-loathing alcoholics who hate the world, and he empathizes:
"The restaurants are going to be selling an awful lot of liquor on Friday, Saturday and Sunday with the Democrats coming into town," said Rep. Bill Brawley, R-Mecklenburg.
Brawley is a cosponsor of H 1121, a bill that would allow ABC stores in Mecklenburg County remain open on Labor Day. The bill would only change the law for 2012 and wouldn't apply elsewhere in the state.
Get it the motherfuck done, Brawley.
[ WRAL ]
We just recently dumped that noise here in WA state. This Friday, we can FINALLY buy booze in teh grocery stores - any day of the week. No more going to state liquor stores.
Cause what else is there to do, while sitting under your patio umbrella to stay outta the torrential downpour that has disrupted your BBQ desires, but sip finely aged bourbonz! (or <i>any</i> aged bourbonz, for that matter)
OH sure, make me feel guilty now for jerb killing.
Actually, I&#039;m pretty sure all our major grocery stores here in WA are unionized. They auctioned off the state stores to private persons, so one wonders if those jerbs are still mostly there.
Plus I do have to admit that here in my ruralish little berg, we had the coolest state store that everybody referred to as Two Old Ladies Liquor Store. A mouthful indeed if one has imbibed to excess. And they, likewise, kept the best Scotch and bourban on the shelf. OH <i>GEEZE</i>, guilt now ensues.